The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Unprofessional

By Allie - 26/08/2021 15:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, my youth pastor died and I was crying. My boss told me to dry my tears, because it was affecting my coworkers. Sorry I'm human and cry when someone I know dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 180

Transplant

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I have manager-level education, an MBA, a second management master's, and I'm on my way for a PhD, but I'm also a migrant who is stuck doing a shitty job because the damn country I have migrated to (Canada) has very little regards for previous non-canadian work experience, even as a manager! I gave up so much for this!? FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 556

Mad bastards

By oof - 13/10/2022 21:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cats decided to start sprinting back and forth across the house while I was holding a cup of coffee. They both ran into each of my legs in unison, sending me crashing down on top of them. I also hit my head on the corner of a shelf and spilled coffee all over my neck, in addition to breaking the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 198

No good deed…

By cantwin - 02/10/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 98

The ice cream machine is broken

By Chris - 29/08/2022 04:00

Today, it's the eighth day in the last two weeks that my job has kept me late, while working with broken equipment. It's been longer than that, but I started counting two weeks ago. I've been cussed out because of the broken equipment too. No amount of money is worth not seeing my girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 171

And I oop

By easygoing765 - 06/06/2021 11:01

Today, I found out the girl I hit on at the store I work at is my second cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 251

Waze?

By lol - 28/10/2020 09:57

Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 654

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 18:00

Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 156

Runaway

By Anonymous - 21/06/2022 08:00 - United States - North Providence

Today, it's been 6 months since I last heard from my kid's mother. That's abandonment where I live. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 924

The friendzone doesn't exist

By AloneAtPerkins - 28/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got friendzoned by my coworker. He'll constantly remind me that he's there for me if I ever need anything or someone to talk to, he's sexy as hell, and he pulls me in for close hugs. This is gonna be a long-ass summer. Oh, did I mention it's a communal living situation in the middle of the mountains? FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 378

Oh no, she's back

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 18:01 - United States - Little River

Today, I learned that the respondents on the Suicide Hotline recognize me, and not fondly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 226

Can it, now!

By Anonymous - 02/01/2021 00:01 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learned that I've married into a family that talks to movie characters as they’re doing stuff in the movie. Good luck hearing the dialogue now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 153

Alexa, play "Pay Your Rates" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 14:00

Today, my 40 year-old idiot son declared he's going to become a priest. He’s not Catholic, not religious, married, expecting a baby, gambles, and only wants to do it because he read somewhere the clergy are tax exempt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 191

Hammerhead

By I tried - 23/10/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my classmate loudly argue a question she got wrong on a test for half an hour, repeating the same incorrect argument ad nauseam. She screamed at the rightfully exasperated teacher for being "biased" when he gave up, and started screaming again when I tried to explain it in a different way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 132

Crossed Animal

By NotCool - 19/01/2021 19:57 - United States - Midlothian

Today, just like every other day, my mom has prioritized doing chores and chatting with her neighbors above even talking to me. This would be fine, if it wasn't in Animal Crossing. Apparently, a lifestyle video game is more important than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 135

Rip Torn

By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 127

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 125

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 202

Wow thanks, I'm cured

By anon - 13/06/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 303

GERD Gang!

By Lucyferia Michelle - 09/04/2021 11:00

Today, I learned that I have multiple gallstones, even though the lab report said I only had one. However, the pain is both in my left side and right side, as well as around my navel. I also have Chronic GERD and IBS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 83

Globehead

By yikes - 07/03/2023 10:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 141

Got it

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 23:00

Today, my ex asked me if I would reconsider a future with him. I said, “Only if we can learn to communicate effectively." He said, “Good talk, this time you actually got through to me.” Then he ceased all communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 146

Money for nothing

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 10:00

Today, four years after coming back home from working in another country, I got a tax bill from that country. For my income there from two years ago. If they give me the money I supposedly earned, I'll gladly pay those taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 92

A tale as old as "Time" by Pink Floyd

By Nelly - 04/10/2023 18:30

Today, now that I've lost a significant amount of weight, all the guys that turned me down saying they “liked me as just a friend” all of a sudden are in my DMs saying, “Hey beautiful” and asking me out on a date. Nice to know I’m only liked for my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 340

The World Won't Listen

By Anonymous - 08/12/2020 10:01 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I went round to see a friend who recently had a heart attack and was finding it difficult to shop for herself. She complained about the food being "too healthy" and wanted bags of chips and frozen rubbish instead. Her being overweight directly caused her heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

Dreaming big

By ReyRey - 24/03/2022 12:00

Today, my son's plan is to become an entrepreneur, even though this requires having a brilliant idea worth money. This is the same guy who got fired from Subway for deliberately dropping bread on the floor so he could steal it from the bin later. I'm gonna kick him in the asscrack before the month is over, I know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 175

Transmission

By cough cough - 12/08/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, the day after visiting my grandparents, I woke up with a sore throat and guttural cough. Once again, my mother neglected to tell me that she'd gotten cold symptoms after I saw her. Now I get to hope that she hasn't given me Covid again, and I haven't given it to my frail grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 124

Bad boy!

By Carrie - 23/02/2021 21:30

Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 145

The blob

By Dodged a bullet - 25/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 230

Trashy

By JD. - 31/01/2021 23:01

Today, the office I clean as a janitor left some candies with a note saying, "Take as many as you like." I was flattered and felt like I was finally being recognized for my years of hard work. Later, I found the same candy with a single bite taken out of it in the trash, along with the rest they'd spat out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 132

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 812

You deserved it 23 253

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 579

You deserved it 24 539

Today, my daughter confidently told me that I’m not allowed to ignore her when she’s sulking on purpose. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Clearly this child has spent too long listening to my ex-wife and her coven of brain-dead cackling witches, AKA her mother and aunties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 158

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 90

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 657

You deserved it 2 916

Today, I had a anxiety attack about taking my anxiety medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 139

You deserved it 342