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The all-time greatest FMLs

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I work at a super toxic workplace, where the owner/boss takes part in some rude/bullying behavior and does nothing when I'm being bullied by coworkers. As a matter of fact, he takes their side. I have been looking for a new job in what I do, but haven't had any luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 103

Significant other

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 02:00

Today, my Apple Watch notified me that my long-term exposure to loud noises may be dangerous to my hearing. I’ve been crying since my SO left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 206

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 139

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 96

Free healthcare for all

By Vickie - 18/06/2021 16:00

Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 129

March for sanity

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 23:00

Today, it took all 3 of my kids threatening to use their saved money to move out and into a flat together to make me realise just how much of an asshole my boyfriend is, and that by any definition I’ve been in a mentally abusive relationship for years, and ignored everyone’s attempts to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 821

Adopt, don't shop

By Anonymous - 17/10/2022 00:00

Today, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year, with no success. My husband's unemployable brother and (still legally married to another man) fiancée announced they are expecting. They have 7 kids between the two of them already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 149

Portal

By OpenSesame - 09/05/2020 05:00

Today, at Walmart, I unknowingly chose the only non-automatic door to exit through. I stood in front of the door looking for the motion sensor while the greeters laughed at me for at least half a minute before I saw the "PUSH" sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 902

Out of it

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 05:01

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 376

Insane parenting

By lizzy - 29/07/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my mom threatened to hurt me if she finds out i’m not changing my pad in between every single class. My classes are all on opposite sides of the building and nowhere near any bathrooms. I don’t even bleed that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 84

Not digging for gold

By metroido - 10/11/2021 02:00

Today, my mom asked me, “Why in the world are you attracted to your boyfriend AT ALL if he isn’t rich?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 96

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 256

Distressed

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 02:01

Today, my colleague pointed out with a disgusted look on his face that I'm wearing 90s clothes again. Just like every time he sees me. What does he mean by 90s clothes? Jeans. Literally any pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 73

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 02:00

Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 108

Getting on

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 05:59

Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 134

By Anonyme - 20/10/2016 02:50 - Belgium - Genk

Today, I broke my nose by falling on the cast I have on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 108

Everybody needs good neighbours

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I got t-boned while on my way represent myself in a deposition for a lawsuit I filed against my neighbor. The other driver was my neighbor's husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 108

Where's my coffee?

By dinkley7 - 20/05/2021 11:00

Today, so far, I’ve been called the c-word, a bitch, and a douche. All by the same person, all because I wouldn't make them coffee at one in the morning. We don’t serve coffee until 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 108

Called out on FML!

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 02:00

Today, I'm pretty sure I ran into an FML post written by my supposedly understanding and caring boyfriend. The post was about us not having sex in a long while. Sorry I have PTSD and therapy flared it all back up! Recurring nightmares and physical pain aren't a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 486

Playing favorites

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 04:00

Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 193

Mesmerized

By Embarrassing - 26/06/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 212

It's a cult

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 08:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I found out via Facebook that my once-favourite aunt has fully bought into the QAnon bullshit about the "stolen" US election, bible quotes and all. We live in the UK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 193

Red flag

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 05:01

Today, my husband rolls his eyes at me 90% of the time when I ask for a kiss. I think divorce is not too far off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 150

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 119

A tax on stupidity

By dinkley7 - 21/04/2021 20:02

Today, someone called me a bitch, all because I refused to sell him lottery tickets at 3 a.m. My state prohibits sales after 10 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 82

Put a tiger in your tank

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 08:01

Today, a stray cat climbed up into my car's engine for shelter at some point last night. Guess how I found out this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 103

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 148

Get back to work

By wavenixv - 27/08/2021 10:01

Today, I got an email from our district manager, telling me I cannot use my vacation days as sick time. I've run out of sick days and I have a severe injury that I've taken medical leave for. When it flares up, it feels like I’m being stabbed. He knows this, but doesn’t acknowledge it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 71

Scapegoat

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 10:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was told I was being fired from my job after "5 months for poor performance." I helped lead my team to the highest possible success they’ve had the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 118

Spoilsport

By fuck it - 31/05/2023 15:00

Today, my coworkers are giving me the cold shoulder since the idea of having “office dogs” or allowing employees to bring their dogs to work with them was shot down due to my severe allergies. I shouldn’t be forced to take meds unnecessarily just to be able to come do my job. They don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 352

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, who I love with every fiber in my body, just told me that he's not attracted to me. Not in any way, shape, or form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 139

Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 344

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 220

You deserved it 2 541

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 788

You deserved it 7 556

Today, my boyfriend and I were setting up a desktop PC we'd bought second-hand. In the middle of this, he stopped, frowning, sniffed the air a few times and said we'd better give it a good dust, because it smelt like burning. I'd just farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 917

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 900