The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Exclusivity

By whoops - 10/06/2020 02:00

Today, I ran into the guy I’ve been seeing. He was holding hands with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 04/07/2019 00:06

Today, my fiancé accidentally ran over the priest who is supposed to be marrying us in 3 days. Now, not only do we need a new priest, we need a new church to get married in, with only 3 days to find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 280

Heartless

By Anonymous - 24/08/2020 02:02

Today, I received a positive Covid-19 test. Despite being largely asymptomatic, the company I work for decided that I've behaved with "gross neglect" by coming to work in an attempt to support the company's ambition, and promptly fired me with no benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 1 571

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 281

Yappy neighborhood

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 14:00

Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 388

Fixed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2020 05:00

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 131

By Dragoness11 - 03/05/2019 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 522

By Anonymous - 16/07/2019 02:01

Today, I realized my boyfriend's family love and respect me more than my own family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 139

Gratitude walks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 182

By Louis - 15/11/2018 13:00 - South Africa

Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 2 999

Parenting

By anon - 30/06/2020 08:02

Today, my mom volunteered me to watch her cousin’s 7-year-old daughter overnight. She’s a nice kid, but sadly the mom has babied her so much that she literally can’t do a thing for herself. She needed help wiping, bathing and even brushing her teeth. Her mom does it all and never taught her differently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 133

By lolbahadur - 16/03/2018 14:00 - Australia

Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to find out that my manager has a second job there. I am now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 8 648

Higher standards

By Anonymous - 10/07/2020 02:02

Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 145

Flowers (Nothing But)

By ThisIsMyLife - 15/09/2019 12:00

Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 276

Queue cutters should be prosecuted!

By Anonymous - 13/04/2020 17:00

Today, while queuing in a shop, a girl appeared to bunk the line. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing to do with me. She then asked me what was I going to do about it, before kneeing me in the nuts. I was overtaken by everyone in the queue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 286

Dogs 4 Life

By RIPFelicity - 21/08/2021 00:01

Today, my boss wrote me up for appearing "depressing" to customers. I told her that I was upset because my dog had to be put down yesterday. She told me, "Aw that’s sad. But guess what? That dog ain’t gonna pay your bills and put bread on your table. So cut the emo crap or you’re fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 245

By "ztodaro" - 18/08/2017 20:00

Today, I bought a new bike from a sporting goods store. I secured the bike in the back seat and slammed the door shut, but I didn't pay close enough attention to the placement of the handlebars. I had to return the bike to pay for the shattered window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 3 501

A Valentine's Day miracle

By Anonymous - 14/02/2023 12:00

Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 567

Sinning is winning

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 18:01

Today, I came home early from work and walked in on my husband in bed with his two young female "bible study students" from his church. Now I remember why he explicitly said to never interrupt his, "Sunday School Studies" with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 127

Sexed to death

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 12:00

Today, I just got home from the police station where I had to explain that the guy I drunkenly hooked up with last night died in the middle of sex from a brain aneurysm. He had no wallet or anything, just car keys, so all I could tell the cops was his first name, that’s it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 360

Stay Safe!

By middleagednurse - 18/03/2020 17:00

Today, the cruise that I was looking forward to for over a year was cancelled due to the coronavirus. Trying to salvage what was left of my vacation, I booked a hotel for a few days near a local beach. They just announced that the beach was closed and the hotel is refusing to refund my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 932

****** around, found out

By anonymouss - 26/08/2021 16:01

Today, I had to yell at both my adult children; my daughter for having an OnlyFans page and my son for finding the page, blackmailing her for money for two months, then telling me about it when she refused to keep paying. I'm not a proud parent right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 405

Earplugs, stat!

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 06:00

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 147

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 243

Not now, mom

By A-train - 13/09/2020 08:01 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, it was supposed to be my wedding day. This is the second time we've had to postpone it. The first was due to COVID, this time the sudden passing of my fiance's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 169

Grandma's here!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 14:00

Today, my mother-in-law was so rabid to meet her first grandson, she didn’t just nudge me aside to get to the delivery room, she two-hand shoved me in the chest so I flew backwards and down a flight of stairs. I’m now in a neck brace for a hairline crack to my vertebrae and can’t pick up my own son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 80

Creepy kid

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 22:00

Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 218

Mind control

By Anonymous - 26/05/2020 17:00

Today, after my fiancee gave me $100 to spend at the garden center as my Mother's Day gift, when I was on my way home from the center, he called and yelled at me because I didn't get what he wanted me to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 158

The long goodbye

By yupimher - 12/10/2019 22:00

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 163

Too late

By BlueSteele220 - 29/07/2020 17:01

Today, someone stole a package off my doorstep. Too bad, it was the video doorbell to prevent my packages from being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 130

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 276

You deserved it 24 133

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 216

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 104

You deserved it 573

Today, my best friend and I got in a fight, and we have a 3 hour drive back home together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 035

You deserved it 2 072

Today, my neighbor said hello to me and we chatted a bit. I had my hand in my pocket, fidgeting with my phone as she yammered on. Suddenly, after pressing random buttons, the shutter on my camera went off. A loud KKCCCHHCHHH came from my pocket. She paused and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 004

Today, they introduced us to this cheesy school email program. I was trying to be funny by making a draft and sent it to "All" and I typed, "Thanos did nothing wrong." The send button was right next to the discard email button. I sent, "Thanos did nothing wrong" to every kid and teacher at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 3 359