The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

The customer is always something

By YEEYEE517 - 03/09/2019 22:00

Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 206

Single and ready to Pringle

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 00:00

Spicy

Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 886

Regression

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my country told me that I don’t matter, and my right to my body and the care for that body is not my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 632

Cold-blooded old times

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 381

The cake was not a lie.

By Alex Knight - 07/11/2017 19:00

Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 4 148

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 157

More issues than Vogue

By Anonymous - 04/07/2020 20:00

Today, my wife is grumpy because our son has his first girlfriend and she feels like she’s been replaced. Our son is 32 and surely it’s about damn time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 167

Creepy

By Anonymous - 10/09/2020 20:00

Today, one week after moving into my new apartment in a new city to get away from my stalker ex, I met my new neighbour. Yep, stalker ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 137

Corporate hell

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 04:01 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I found out I didn't get the promotion I applied for. Then I was told I was the only one who applied for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 27/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was talking to my military brother about him coming home soon. I told him that our parents don't always handle change well, but are excited to see him. He took that to mean that they don't want him home and to make plans to stay where he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 949

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By TrashlifeKaylala - 10/07/2019 00:01

Today, my father once again sat me and my boyfriend of a year down to have another "talk." These "talks" are always something negative against our relationship, and how it’s not up to his standards. We’ve explained numerous times why he’s wrong. My father is about to make me single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 187

By MWT77 - 27/07/2019 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 103

Helter Skelter

By bobra - 21/10/2019 12:00

Today, I decided to face my fears and go on my first upside-down ride. Unfortunately for me, the two men in front of me had chosen to eat before the ride and I walked off with bits of strawberry and bacon in my hair, my clothes drenched in whitish fluid, not to mention the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 136

Turned off

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 17:00 - United States - Ingleside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend texted me a video of him having sex with a girlfriend he was screwing before we met. He thought it would turn me on; instead I am completely repulsed, and it will probably will haunt me for the remainder of our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 256

Free the Flow!

By Lunar-Spice - 23/10/2019 14:00

Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 187

Numb

By A.J. - 13/04/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 175

Clumsy

By Manic Mushroom - 27/09/2019 08:25

Today, I tipped my head back to take my nighttime meds and my birth control fell straight up my nose like it was aiming for a hole-in-one to my brain. I got it out, but now I have a migraine, awful sinus pain, and can feel a nose bleed coming on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 428

Manic Mushroom tells us more.

Manic Mushroom 15

Thursday 26 September 2019 23:49

Oh damn, my first submission got published!! 😂 As for putting them in my mouth and then taking a drink, first of all I take a good half a dozen pills at night and would still have to tip back to get them in my mouth. Second, I have fibro so my meds are restricted and coated with a bitterant to deter people taking them accidently. The taste is enough to make me gag, so I have to take a drink first so they don't touch my tongue. It actually took a day or so for the pain in my face to stop and my voice to not be raspy anymore, but I'm good now. I'm used to hurting so it don't really bother me all that much, I was just shocked at the new level of clumsy I had ascended to!

By badhabit - 31/05/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 1 703

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 28/08/2020 17:01

Today, I resigned from my dream job with a small company. In the 6 weeks I worked there, a fist-fight occurred, the police were called 4 times, a person was fired for lying on important documents, and I was yelled or heckled for my ideas everyday. Now I'm jobless and worried, but had the first good night's sleep in 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 18:00

Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 203

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 419

Global stinking

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 235

Mind your beeswax, Karen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 181

By facepalm - 02/05/2019 00:00

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 267

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 140

Sex work is real work

By Anonymous - 22/09/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 519

By Anonymous - 17/05/2019 12:18

Today, I found out that someone left an open sharpie pen in the dryer. It left pen marks on everything inside of the dryer. Not just one or two pen marks, but nearly 1,000 on each article of clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 187

#worthit

By Toni - 18/11/2017 15:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, on my way to work, I missed my bus because I forgot my wallet. I had a lot of time before the next bus so I took the opportunity to go home for coffee and a proper breakfast. Then, while getting on the next bus, I realized I forgot my wallet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 4 050

Dense

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 226

Capitalism 101

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 02:02

Today, a massive septic tank that takes waste from 11 factories exploded. The wind is blowing directly towards us. Even with closed windows, no amount of perfume helps. There's no escape. People have puked. We've still got 4 hours of production and management doesn't care about the workers outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 884

You deserved it 120

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Although I am very happy in a sense and feel that there is finally an explanation for the past, this issue is not conducive to my adjustment to society. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, my grandmother helped out by cooking a dish for me. It was so sweet of her, until I ended up having diarrhoea because of it. Now I'm worried to breastfeed my newborn with her food in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 139

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 786

You deserved it 17 817

Today, I decided to try an online therapy site, seeing as I have been feeling very lonely and don’t have any friends to talk to about my issues. After filling out all the initial forms, the site told me there was no one available to speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 215

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 152

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 8 581