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Classic

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 00:00

Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 339

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 450

DDLG

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 12:00

Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 518

Kids pick up stuff you say

By Embarrassed mom - 06/11/2025 15:00

Today, after a long, tedious and annoying wait in line at the supermarket, my 5-year-old told the cashier, “Mommy says you’re too slow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 383

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 272

Lookalike

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 12:00

Today, I finally got with the hot guy from work. We were laying in bed, smiling at each other afterwards, when his eyes traveled down my body and he blurts out, "THAT'S who you look like! Have you ever seen Moana? Yeah, you look JUST like THAT MAUI GUY! WOW!" I'm a woman. A 5ft4 woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 73

Hi there!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 22:00

Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 333

Who are you? Who am I?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 658

Confusing

By here's a giant baby - 05/10/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 501

Let me in

By Beatrice00101 - 22/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my apartment, and in a panic, I tried using a credit card to open the door like I'd seen in movies and stuff. Instead of opening the door, I broke my card in half. I then had to call my landlord, who showed up an hour later and said, "Wow, you really tried to break into your own house, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 407

Pet peeve

By Cherry Bomb - 05/10/2025 20:00

Today, I had to interview someone for a news article. Nothing too serious, but the person I was interviewing answered every question with a sentence beginning with "I want to say…" It's one of my pet peeves and it took a lot for me to not ask them to stop or I'd walk out. Yes, I'm a petty bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 353

Don't do this sort of shit

By Ouch - 29/12/2025 15:00

Today, I got in the car with some friends, only to realize none of them were wearing seat belts. They heckled me until I took mine off, then the driver slammed on the brakes and I hit the dash. They'd all known it was coming and braced themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 600

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 358

It's nothing personal

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 15:00

Today, as a teaching assistant, I somehow uploaded my personal notes instead of the lecture slides. My “notes” included reminders like “slow down, idiot”, “this makes no sense”, and “students will hate this part.” Several students emailed me saying they appreciated the honesty. I would've appreciated the ground opening and swallowing me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 318

Sprightly

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband (M72) and I (F69) had yet another argument over all the time he spends away from home doing hobbies and volunteering. After an emotional conversation about my moving out, he said, "Well, if we are done talking about that, let me tell you what I got to do today." Biggest emotional slap ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 425

Oh nooooo!

By Grow up - 13/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband has been sulking because he got the urge to play Runescape and discovered that his old account was hacked and he lost all his fake money and items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 335

Rubbers

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 12:00

Today, I’m bisexual and recently started dating my girlfriend who’s a lesbian. I made a complete fool of myself when we were about to have sex because out of habit I asked if she had any condoms. Sex makes me dumb I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 299

Little helper

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 12:00

Today, my 10-year-old "helped" me by “fixing” the parental controls on the iPad. I didn’t ask for help. Now it won’t let me access email, news, or even Google, but it will let me watch 47 hours of baby cartoons. I've been locked out of my own device by someone who can’t eat spaghetti without ruining a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 355

Such a rush

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Loughborough

Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 463

Oddly specific

By Erica - 01/02/2026 09:00

Today, the guy I'd met online ghosted me because I’d left dead skin residue on his toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 348

Cool cool cool

By Chris - 06/04/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 323

The first step is acknowledging it

By Alex - 23/09/2025 15:00

Today, I fucked up. I let my mental health problems and the alcohol win. I was horrible to my wife and basically ended my marriage due to my problems and insecurities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 526

Nervous wreck

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I kept running into the same guy in every aisle of the supermarket. By the fifth time, I nervously joked, “I guess we’re destined to be soulmates.” He gave me a deadpan look and replied, “I work here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 463

Siren alert

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 20:00

Today, after weeks of everyone at work avoiding me, I finally asked my coworker what was up. She informed me, “You’re 350lbs and try to dress like an office siren, it’s pathetic to look at.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 485

Granny Smith

By TEETH - 12/11/2025 09:00

Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 318

Bring headphone jacks back on all smartphones!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - The Hague

Today, I bought new earphones for my phone so I could finally listen to music again. Not an hour later I broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 316

Terminally online

By Older men, ew - 03/03/2026 09:00

Today, a much older guy hit on me with the line, "Hey, Gen Z boss in a mini!" Ew, get away grampa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 294

Not really my problem

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 06:30 - India

Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 272

Ground rules

By Katie - 22/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, my boyfriend and I tried bondage for the first time. After I was tied up, I discovered he has a tickling fetish, which is when I learned why you should ALWAYS have a safe word before bondage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 353

Not so tech savvy

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - United States - Kailua

Today, in Home Ec, I struggled to open the microwave for almost 10 minutes in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 364

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The Top

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 560

You deserved it 4 521

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 202

You deserved it 8 190

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 10 753

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 962

You deserved it 76 284

Today, I dislocated my big toe doing a stupid stunt to impress a woman, who turned out to be married anyway. The toe won’t go back in, so the doctor thinks it might need a surgical fix. I don’t have insurance so this is going to be fucking expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 503

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 67