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Some shade thrown

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 92

Classic Dad moment

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 141

Red flag

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since we started trying for a baby, my husband initiates sex a lot less often than he used to, and has even started suffering from erectile dysfunction on occasion. Call me crazy, but I’m starting to suspect he doesn’t want a baby after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 162

Whatnot etc.

By Fucked - 07/09/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 55

Just out of curiosity, where is this place exactly?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 117

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 121

I like to (not) move it move it

By vava101 - 25/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 216

Ignorance never dies

By Racist ass - 22/08/2025 14:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband told our daughter to eat with her fork, not her hands. She said that in Africa, people eat with their hands. He said, "Yeah, and they cut up little girls' vaginas with a razor blade there too." Now she's traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 174

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 172

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 114

Not your problem

By Anonymous - 16/01/2026 09:00

Today, I saw a good friend beg and crawl back to her controlling girlfriend who treats her like a child for the umpteenth time, even after herself acknowledging that she got mistreated. I don't know what else to do to help her, or if I even should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 81

Graham, is that you?

By Nazi ex bf - 17/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a social media dive on my new boyfriend, I found out his username on an old forum was "Hitlerdidnothingwrong69." I confronted him, and all he said was, "It was a different time, that was funny then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 186

Groundwork for groundwork

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to have session 0 of an online tabletop RPG campaign. My laptop's screen decided it no longer wants to display anything. I've only had this laptop for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 76

Suave

By Quiet is sexy - 03/04/2025 23:00 - Romania

Today, my husband whined that our sex life is terrible. I agree. I wish he'd stop killing the mood with crappy pickup lines and crude innuendos every time I act even slightly receptive towards him. It's like he turns into a 14 year-old the second I kiss him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 152

I started a joke…

By Shabby Rabbit - 03/09/2025 18:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 151

Burgers? In this economy?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 08:00 - Peru - Lima

Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 173

Stuck in the warehouse

By Forklift certified - 27/09/2025 09:00

Today, I needed the big forklift at work. The one that gets hidden by people and that has nearly no keys left because they all got lost. I had organised a key and I knew where it was parked, so nothing could go wrong. When I tried to put the key in the ignition, there was only a hole. The ignition was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 46

Cruel kids

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 20:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter squeezed her hamster's balls. She squeezed so hard that they literally popped out. She said that her older sister (who is 14-years-old) convinced her to do it. Both girls are grounded and have their cell phones and TV taken away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 126

Social construct

By Fuck u - 19/02/2026 00:00

Today, I'm stuck in a bad relationship with a man who won't work to get ahead in life, and whose family looks down on me for being a different race. If I dump him, I'll have to live with my racist dad, who will smuckle endlessly about how I "learned a lesson for dating outside your race." FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 259

Messy bitches

By Please explain - 24/12/2025 09:00

Today, I don't understand how my wife and son are incapable of opening any kind of packaging without tearing it to shreds. If they open a box of cereal or a bag of chips, it looks like a dog got hold of it. How? FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 72

Whiplash

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 03:00

Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 57

Help needed!

By HUH? - 12/02/2026 15:00

Today, my wife snapped at me for never having sex with her. Any time I try, she tells me to stop, but apparently sometimes she wants me to ignore her pleas and keep going. Sometimes she actually wants me to stop, though, and she won't tell me how to differentiate the two. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 84

The tedium of everyday life

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 11:00 - United States - Banning

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 148

Fix me up

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized thanks to two injuries I have that I can't do two routines my doctor wants me to do. I strained something in my right hip so squatting causes me pain. Jogging is also out of the question because my right foot healed wrong when I sprained it, and requires pricey foot surgery to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 91

Casual

By Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 85

Freakout

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 22:00

Today, my daughter learned a new phrase: “Sleep Paralysis Demon.” It was exactly as bad as you’re imagining, she sobbed for almost 15 minutes, and that's a very long time when the tears and screaming are constant and without a pause. The neighbours knocked on the door because they were worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 70

Digging for gold

By PUKEATRONIC BARF-O-MATIC SPEWORAMA - 17/02/2026 12:00

Today, after a bad head cold, my boyfriend woke up, shambled to the bathroom and sniffled. He then pulled the biggest booger I've ever seen out of his nose; it looked like a giant slug. He took a picture, then set it as his lock screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 76

Many moving parts

By AlmostCarjacked - 17/07/2025 00:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 139

Flat on my ass

By Slipped - 05/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to a cook out and sat on a flimsy plastic chair. Halfway through my burger, the chair gave out, and I collapsed in front of everyone, still holding the burger. Someone shouted, “At least you saved the burger!” while everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 112

My BFF

By Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 142

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The Top

Today, during an argument, my girlfriend said she wasn't having sex with me anytime soon. She never wants sex in the first place, so her threat fell pretty flat. When I pointed this out, she went absolutely apeshit and started throwing plates at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 153

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 109

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 5 202

Today, my coworker was supposed to pick me up to go to a work event as my car is broken. I waited 3 hours and he never showed. After he arrived late to the event due to traffic, he told my boss that he waited for me and I never came out. Guess who's unemployed now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 285

You deserved it 393

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 4 000

Today, my boss continues to think it's appropriate to send me whining texts about work at midnight. Or 4 a.m. I think his complaints about not selling as much candy as he expected can wait till work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 790

You deserved it 329