The Top

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Lone wolf

By the loneliest number - 14/10/2025 20:00

Today, it’s almost my birthday. Instead of the big fun celebration I’d hoped to have, I’ve cut ties with most of my deeply toxic friend group. I think being alone is better than being surrounded by fake friends and real enemies, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 92

Cousin Ricky

By How about "no"? - 20/10/2025 03:00

Today, my mom cussed at me because I denied my struggling cousin a job at my company, and now it's my fault he and his family will suffer and starve. He was fired from his former job as a payroll officer, and is now blacklisted. Over 30 people got zero on payday, as he later went Living La Vida Loca with his "bonus". FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 57

Let it go

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 02:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 138

Take it easy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Enfield

Today, I found out that college stressed me out so much that my stomach acid now eats holes in my stomach wall. I went from, “Oh, I have a tummy ache” to “You can’t eat or drink for 24 hours because we gotta do surgery on a perforated ulcer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 96

Wine about it

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 136

Double agent

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I’ve been such an idiot. I believed everything my boyfriend told me about his ex being a bitter baby mama, keeping the kids from him, weaponizing custody, etc. Then she showed me all the messages of him making BS excuses to not even try to see his kids. He hasn’t made a visit in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 146

Concentrate!

By Clowning - 03/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 130

Don't give up

By Frustrated - 24/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife complained that our sex life is too boring and vanilla. I have spent the last two years suggesting ideas to keep it interesting: S&M, swinging, roleplay, cosplay, public play, new toys, you name it. All I ever hear is, "Eww you pervert, that is disgusting and sick, how dare you even mention that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 113

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 87

Side hustle

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 11:00 - Canada

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 106

Chubbyemu vibes

By Anonymous - 28/01/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, it's been three months since I had a GI virus. In this time, all the tests I've done so far came out negative at the doctor's. I've changed my diet, haven't drank alcohol, nor was I a habitual drinker. The bouts of nausea and vomiting keep coming back on random days. I cannot get the right amount of nutrients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 62

Kinda weird

By Cassie - 30/11/2025 03:00

Today, I turned 15, and I am allowed to wear a bikini now, so I modeled for my family. My brother (who's 18) was really wowed when he saw me. I asked what's wrong; he said, "Nothing, which is the point. I know you're my sis, not my girlfriend, but damn you have a pretty body." Is it OK that my bro thinks I'm hot? FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 167

Scammers gonna scam

By Leah Magers - 19/07/2025 05:00 - United States - Ames

Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 109

Just put it on, dude

By BING BING BING - 07/07/2025 16:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started a road trip with friends. The friend who is driving doesn't wear seat belts. BING BING BING. 400 miles to go. BING BING BING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 110

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 81

Infectious

By Looupyloou - 07/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 76

On the pull

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in a bar, I had to remind my brother that the bar was not open to the public, it was booked for a private party. Our family reunion in fact, so the girl he was “this close to pulling” was actually our Welsh cousin we’d never met before. He almost became a redneck stereotype. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 97

Amazing idea, idiot

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 91

How could you?

By Not a cheater - 04/01/2026 15:00

Today, I was looking over reservations for an upcoming work trip, and saw that my work would cover the "romance package" at a nice hotel. I laughed. My coworkers laughed. When I told my wife, not only did she not laugh, she burst into tears and screamed, "I knew you were cheating!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 115

Can't take my eyes off you

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, while changing into shorts because it’s scorching hot here, my four year-old found a jar of my Dad's ashes. I came out to see her feet prints in it on the kitchen floor. She'd dumped the whole jar out and was playing in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 203

Scramble time

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 02:00 - United States - Sullivan

Today, I found out that all the birthday presents and decorations I bought for my son's birthday got lost in transit. I ordered them two weeks in advance, just in case something went wrong. His birthday is today and his party is tomorrow. Guess who's going to be making a Walmart trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 95

Sending hugs

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 03:00 - United States - North Augusta

Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 65

Stabie genius

By Terrible Boss - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 7 892

Imposter syndrome?

By Overworked - 15/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, after my boss thanked me for being so "reliable" all the time, I confessed to her that I have really bad anxiety, which has given me a crippling fear of disappointing her and ending up jobless. Even after reassuring me that she would never do that, the feeling is still there. I think I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 147

Pretend I'm not here

By Bad bridesmaid - 11/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. During the ceremony, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to stifle it, but when I sneezed, my bouquet flew out of my hands and into the groom’s face. It knocked his glasses off, and everyone was silent until the groom finally said, “Are you implying you oppose our marriage?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 115

Welcome to the machine

By Lol - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Austin

Today, after I spent the last year working overtime to prove myself at my tech job, I got an email saying I was laid off due to “strategic restructuring.” My boss posted a vacation picture right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 81

Knackered

By Fucking go away - 11/10/2025 12:00

Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 89

More responsibilities please!

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, at my job as a supermarket manager, I had to break up a fight over a handicapped parking spot, in which an elderly man nearly got beaten over the head with a prosthetic leg. This wasn't what I expected when I was told I'd been promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 83

Dodge

By hollywoodhelman - 16/02/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like concert tickets for our favorite artist, who is usually never in our town, for her birthday. She said, “No thanks, I have to work that day.” She works Monday-Friday. The concert is on Saturday. When I mentioned this, she asked me, “So, what did you think of the Super Bowl halftime show?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 247

Truth bomb

By Hoo boy - 09/04/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 399

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 3 175

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 528

You deserved it 3 643

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 3 370

Today, during our office Secret Santa gift exchange, I unwrapped my gift to find a mug that says, "World’s Okayest Employee." Everyone laughed. My boss added, "Well, it’s accurate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 137

Today, and for the past month, my younger sibling has been having suicidal thoughts. This is causing our parents to put them on a pedestal and treat them like a princess. They’ve made me give them my money to get themselves treats and they don’t even get what they say they’re going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 80