The Top

Sorry for the typo. I had this funny adventure and I didn't want to open an account to share it. By the way, I do exist in Milton (Cambridshire), and the lake was in Mill Road, Cambridge. I had to f***ing bike 20 minutes back home totally wet. Luckily my impermeable jacket and my rain-proof backpack saved my electronics.... Let's make a laugh together on it! Cheers, El Midion (this name is obviously not real, I don't wanna tell you my real one! XD)

Scheiße!

By Xerfox - 03/07/2016 18:05 - Germany - Löwenstein

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 521

You deserved it 1 990

By gr8terevil - 02/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 008

You deserved it 16 935

Let that sink in

By kalvin - 24/05/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 643

You deserved it 6 965

By LaurahLunatic - 05/09/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 182

You deserved it 6 065

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 436

You deserved it 40 483

By thxmom - 04/01/2015 17:25 - United States - West Jordan

Today, I learned that my mother has been telling people that I need anger management. I'm not attending anger management, I'm attending therapy to aid in my recovery from abusive relationships. She doesn't understand the difference or why I find it upsetting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 08:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 996

You deserved it 2 860

By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 12:49 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law told me calmly that she never cared for me, likes her brother's ex more than me, and probably will always dislike me. It was our first serious conversation ever, that I initiated because I wanted to "maintain our great friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 3 113

Every day I'm hustlin'

By Allen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 375

You deserved it 3 265

**** me, I guess

By Anonymous - 25/11/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 767

You deserved it 2 149

Masterchef

By sarah4241 - 26/07/2015 21:04 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 788

You deserved it 21 170

Drama!

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 537

You deserved it 2 918

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 546

You deserved it 66 433

By holiday from hell - 25/12/2013 01:12 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 264

You deserved it 3 703

By iSamsung - 06/03/2016 14:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 762

You deserved it 2 494

Big hugger

By dummy - 22/05/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 310

You deserved it 44 924

By wtf_fml_0609 - 01/11/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 582

You deserved it 26 118

No future

By singlegirl - 27/11/2009 18:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 650

You deserved it 3 120

By cyzn - 14/07/2014 17:59 - Canada - Sorel

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 982

You deserved it 16 293

cyzn tells us more.

cyzn 18

Tuesday 15 July 2014 3:17

Hey everyone, Your comments made me laugh! So here we go, when I was backing up I think he was more concentrated in what I was doing and not really looking at what was behind me (which he should of but anyways) when I hit my head he obviously started laughing and he grabbed me towards him and kissed my head (while continuing to laugh) Hes a sweet guy, I have a tendency of walking into walls or backing up into brick walls lol. My head was totally fine just a little headache afterwards. For in the future always check your surroundings aha. As for the whisper app, I posted that post about this fml with the grey brick wall background, just making sure, Everything is a secret on that app so i had no other way to show/prove that it was me, but anyways its not the end of the world. Thank you everyone who was concerned and made me laugh!