The Top

OP here to answer your question, yes it is a woman doing this, and shes not religious or modest in the least, her phones background photo is a picture of her own ass in a thong bikini while she tries to stare at the camera over her shoulder. I work on a different floor with a different bathroom so thankfully i never saw the offense myself but i had a number of complaints from women that they walked in on her with her pants down splashing around in the sink and any attempts to confront her about this result in her either ignoring that shes being spoken to or bursting into tears and denying shes doing anything wrong, (Which is bulls*** i have atleast 8 witnesses to the contrary) Better still, my male supervisors both find this hilarious and dont want to deal with it for fear of being accused of sexual harassment. I was going to post a sign in the bathroom along the lines of "Please do not wash your venereal diseased ****** in our sink" but our lawyer says this is inappropriate so i guess i have to make something else. Bottom line is if youre making people uncomfortable in your office maybe you should find some other place to douche yourself.

By zoosmell pooplord - 02/09/2012 19:41 - Norway - Geilo

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 999

You deserved it 1 746

By thealaskanyoung - 30/10/2014 03:58 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 400

You deserved it 2 780

thealaskanyoung tells us more.

thealaskanyoung 14

Monday 3 November 2014 7:33

Hey, OP here. Let me get this straight: my mother is not abusive. She just has a sense of humor! The lady who called was just taken aback for a second before my mom clarified. She's just a character, in no way abusive. Y'all are ridiculous.

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 20:35 - United States - Tunkhannock

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 333

You deserved it 9 341

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 05:26 - United States - Saint Maries

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 701

You deserved it 4 151

Stop right now!

By Anonymous - 02/06/2013 22:36 - United Kingdom - Grays

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 022

You deserved it 7 584

By UnluckyJulie - 02/11/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 395

You deserved it 2 703

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 20:07 - Canada

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 4 606

By NotRetarded - 11/04/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 151

You deserved it 3 870

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 14:40 - Latvia

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 220

You deserved it 2 853

By toto13660 - 29/06/2016 20:10

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 478

By bigbagofnope - 17/06/2016 20:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 707

You deserved it 7 854

bigbagofnope tells us more.

bigbagofnope 25

Saturday 18 June 2016 7:36

Hay OP here, yeah I know it's my fault, I seriously ****** up. The original argument was about him spilling his coffee milkshake all in my car and on my purse, but that's water under the bridge now. I normally do check all the pockets before I put them in, I was just in a rush. I told him stright away and the wallet and keys are salvageable but the phone very much not. He's attually really chill about it bc he knows I didn't mean too and I am going to help him sort out a new phone asap. Always check your pockets folks!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 22:52 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 136

You deserved it 36 480