The Top

It was an ATV "accident". My ex - boyfriend broke up with me on the trail and then purposely spun us around a turn too fast and I was thrown off the back. He still doesn't understand why I didn't find it funny like he did...

By feelthelove - 02/11/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 640

You deserved it 5 624

Joe Smooth

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hebron

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 312

You deserved it 16 649

By Sios - 11/04/2012 15:06 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 2 816

By Andrew - 14/07/2015 17:59 - United States - Blackwood

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 953

You deserved it 2 786

By xXEndlesslullabyXx - 05/06/2011 18:15 - United States

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 715

You deserved it 2 812

By Broly171 - 01/10/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 342

You deserved it 5 652

By Anonymous - 21/01/2014 21:30 - Iceland

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 348

You deserved it 4 187

By George - 15/01/2013 20:53 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 503

You deserved it 46 716

By loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 018

You deserved it 52 152

Here, my dear

By Dj sMoZ! - 15/02/2011 15:30

Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 484

You deserved it 43 616

Dad!

By ScarredDaughter - 29/03/2016 05:01 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 274

You deserved it 2 002

By TheTacoMan - 01/02/2015 21:12

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 115

You deserved it 4 710

TheTacoMan tells us more.

TheTacoMan 24

Tuesday 3 February 2015 22:06

OP here, I wasn't saying that she should come back to complete my hair cut, I was talking about everyone else who was working there. Luckily the hair cutter made it to the hospital in time, and she gave birth to a healthy boy, or so they said over the phone. I came back the next day and they finished cutting my hair... For half price.