Biology major
By LilPie - 19/11/2015 22:10 - United States - Fort Washington
By LilPie - 19/11/2015 22:10 - United States - Fort Washington
By damselfly - 27/03/2012 00:28 - Canada - Montreal
By death bed - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Schaumburg
By ooops - 03/09/2009 00:18 - United States
By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19
By diapermommy - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 05/12/2013 19:10 - United Kingdom - Washington
By WTF - 07/03/2011 09:19
By WPA2 OR DEATH - 07/12/2012 21:49 - Australia - Queanbeyan
By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia
By kittyslayer - 15/12/2011 02:46 - United States
By Bladerunner - 01/12/2011 09:49 - United States
By Darkheaven - 17/11/2008 11:27 - France
By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland
By panickygrl - 06/11/2011 17:43 - United States
By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 01:15 - Canada
By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers
By LadyLuck - 10/05/2009 05:38 - United States
By cc - 24/11/2009 05:03 - United States
By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved
By Help - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By oh lord - 27/05/2012 16:06 - Canada - Oshawa
By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont
By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco
By minauto - 27/02/2014 23:58 - United States - San Antonio
This actually happened to my boyfriend but he posted it from my account since he doesn't own a smartphone himself. he pulled his engine from his car to work on it (he's an auto tech student) and had been without a car for a few days. luckily he was planning on getting a new ignition, he wasn't however planning on replacing a perfectly good window... but thanks for all the comments guys, i'll be sure to let him know about all the support!
By Anonymous - 26/05/2015 15:12 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco
By henrylikestreats - 30/04/2015 18:04 - United States - Mayer
All of these puns have me in tears, I swear. I am currently growing out my hair after cutting it all off to be donated. It has gone through every awkward stage imaginable, including the constantly-in-my-eyes stage, the is-it-long-enough-for-a-ponytail stage, and, of course, the mullet. After a few weeks of dealing with the mullet, I decided to cut it, and that is how I ended up with this mess. I have heard Shrek quotes everywhere I have gone since and I can't stop laughing at myself. Thank you for making my night, everybody.
By fatty - 29/04/2015 01:36 - United States - West Chester
By Anonymous - 28/02/2011 00:29 - United States
Keywords
OP here--had to get an FML account to comment. To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?). A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way. @18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric. @12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.