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Yup. This was stupid on my part. It was at my ceramics studio where we apparently now have mice. It's a brown mug that I keep in my work area. I should have thought to clean it before I drank but I didn't. Gross.

It's all my fault

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 054

You deserved it 39 445

By sexyhobbit - 12/07/2014 00:26 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 832

You deserved it 7 347

Lonely, so lonely

By Lonely_Army - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Qatar

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 036

You deserved it 3 301

By LC - 03/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 491

You deserved it 7 258

Hacker

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, my 8 year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number keypad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 976

You deserved it 9 838

Snark

By Anonymous - 28/02/2013 22:33 - United Kingdom - Newtownards

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 796

You deserved it 3 692

By gaiakirkland - 15/02/2014 11:18 - Italy - Pompiano

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 279

You deserved it 5 166

gaiakirkland tells us more.

gaiakirkland 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 10:41

To the ones asking if he stayed at least until I woke up, or if I had good luck, let's say that besides being my crush, he's a friend of mine so obviously he stayed, and agreed to go out again, so hopefully next time I won't pass out. For the one that says she can swallow since she was born, thank you very much dear, I suppose you can also walk since you were 1 and you still trip over your own feet sometimes :)

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 420

You deserved it 3 183

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 17 820

Is it true?

By analgirl - 09/11/2014 13:31 - France - Paris

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 4 414

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 01:23 - United States - South Salem

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 306

You deserved it 4 148

Clashing

By Anonymous - 15/09/2014 17:52 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 943

You deserved it 4 079

Doughboy

By phatkroger10 - 10/04/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 112

You deserved it 66 813

By Katie - 23/06/2011 16:39 - United States

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 683

You deserved it 2 815

Doozy

By pained - 02/05/2014 00:23 - United States

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received doesn't actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing my balance and slamming my injured toe into objects, and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 364

You deserved it 4 738

By promdump - 07/03/2009 02:55 - United States

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 471

You deserved it 7 768

By ephram17 - 01/06/2015 16:21 - United States

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 660

You deserved it 4 731

ephram17 tells us more.

ephram17 24

Tuesday 2 June 2015 15:46

OP here. Thankfully, he understood that both were accidents. I apologized for both and he wasn't mad. He does however enjoy making me feel a little guilty with some good natured teasing about it.