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By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 231

You deserved it 4 240

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 954

You deserved it 4 890

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 19:36 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 671

You deserved it 23 090

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 02:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 045

You deserved it 7 848

By oldtexas - 13/08/2009 07:27 - United States

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 269

You deserved it 67 517

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 587

You deserved it 3 386

By DumbAndYoung - 26/08/2014 04:17 - United States - Glenpool

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 174

You deserved it 11 331

DumbAndYoung tells us more.

DumbAndYoung 30

Tuesday 26 August 2014 19:59

OP here, I can't believe this got posted! First of all, I was at school when this happened, I went during lunch. I left when lunch was about over and I had to go to class. I know I need to overcome my fears, I've been this way for a long time. I'm also very shy. I don't usually tell people about it because they just think it's pathetic or stupid. My anxiety influences actions I make on a daily basis, and it sucks. I appreciate the sympathy, and the tips! I'll definitely keep trying to overcome it.

By wenchfucker - 18/06/2012 19:49 - France - ?pinal

Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 325

You deserved it 2 178

By meegs - 17/10/2010 00:31 - Canada

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 038

You deserved it 31 788

By TheRawrza - 26/04/2009 09:47 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted, "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!" I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I didn't think I'm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 265

You deserved it 8 280

By panos016 - 15/07/2011 13:51 - United Kingdom

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 9 932

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 4 878

By Owned - 25/03/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 61

By strongjon60 - 07/02/2012 15:07 - United States

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 180

You deserved it 3 640

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 967

You deserved it 4 839

By ripo95 - 26/11/2008 06:18 - France

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 46 562

By fuckalltwitardsintheface - 20/09/2012 21:34 - United States - Lindsey

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 606

You deserved it 1 706

Powerful left foot

By tom0441 - 22/10/2011 08:34 - Reserved

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park as I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me, so feeling nice, I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 6 837

Big question

By snoozerlooser - 25/12/2010 00:00 - Canada

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 584

You deserved it 7 830

By TinyBouvier - 27/10/2014 08:04 - Belgium - Gent

Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 944

You deserved it 5 026

LittleDoggo tells us more.

LittleDoggo 15

Monday 27 October 2014 15:53

My friend parked between two other cars and as I was about to get out of the car, he said, "hold on, I'm gonna move to that spot", since he noticed the parking spot in front of him had more room. So he slowly drove forward for a few meters and then we were parked again. It was such a small distance and at such low speed that I didn't bother to buckle up again. Unfortunately for me, the police officer who saw me in those five seconds where I wasn't wearing the seatbelt, didn't believe me when I tried to explain that I had just unbuckled my seatbelt moments before we moved to that parking spot. He was firmly convinced that I wasn't wearing my seatbelt the whole time and gave me a fine of 110€... That's roughly 139$. I fear I won't be able to fight this ticket. After a quick search on Google, I found out that in Belgium the parking lot of a store is also considered a "public road". Ridiculous.

By astraboy - 21/05/2009 09:11 - Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 203

You deserved it 8 536

By theshire - 12/08/2014 06:23 - France - Nice

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 371

You deserved it 4 020

By LissaMccracken - 19/07/2014 01:04 - United States - Bentonville

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 432

You deserved it 17 407

LissaMccracken tells us more.

LissaMccracken 23

Saturday 19 July 2014 19:53

Wow! I must really deserve this! Haha well to clear this up, this restroom was one that had more than one stall. There were plenty of other toilets, she was just upset that the one she wanted was taken. But thanks to all the people saying really nice things!!! It means a lot!