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Work/life balancing act

By Clean up slob ass - 08/08/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 1 226

Rookie mistake

By dreamisugly - 10/10/2022 11:00

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 2 298

Today, on Dr Phil…

By anon - 17/10/2022 22:00

Today, it's been a week since my girlfriend committed suicide. Everyone keeps telling me how sad they are for me. The truth is, she was an abusive piece of shit and I'm happy to be free, but my family and friends loved her and I can't bring myself to tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 172

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 25/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years only got divorced last year. I never even knew he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 288

Nice first impression.

By Losamus - 15/08/2018 23:30

Today, I didn't know I had a pill stuck in my throat until I coughed and it flew across the table, narrowly missing the weird guy sitting across from me in the break room. Turns out that weird guy is my new supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 728

You deserved it 488

Age ain't nothing but a number

By why lie - 04/06/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 816

You deserved it 511

It's out there

By anonymous - 03/09/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend showed me a video on his phone that he'd recorded of us having sex. Furious, I asked him if he'd ever shown it to anyone. His response was, "No, not really, I mean… My roommate walked in on me watching it. Oh, and my dad wanted to know how our relationship was going, I was drunk…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 184

Get with the times

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 14:00

Today, I went to mediation with 5 managers and a coworker I do not get along with. Everyone in the room was at least 20 years younger than me, and the entire meeting was them telling me to drag myself into the present century and basically do whatever the younger, "smarter" people say, or else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 389

Trigger happy

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 05:00

Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 121

By Mel - 11/09/2018 14:30

Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 360

You deserved it 687

Chilly

By Anonymous - 27/07/2020 23:03

Today, I'm a young, healthy non-smoker, getting plenty of exercise and walking about 8.000 steps a day. I still have ice-cold feet. Even wearing two pairs of socks. And Lambswool boots. In July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 235

**** those dudes

By Tia - 27/10/2021 17:00

Today, my Tinder date said it wasn’t gonna work, all because, I “need to lose some extra pounds.” Last week, I'd had another Tinder date and he told me he’d continue seeing me if I dropped at least 30 pounds. I think I get the hint now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 431

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 10/11/2021 19:59

Today, despite being on the pill and always using condoms, I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend I want to keep it, hoping he wanted to keep it too. He told me he hopes I enjoy being a single parent, because he absolutely does not want it, but knows I’ll never get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 634

Generosity

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 20:04

Today, my granny died. My aunt wants to throw away all her books and furniture. When I offered to take care of selling it, or giving it away, like granny would have wanted, my aunt said she would let me "keep a percentage" of the few bucks I’d get for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 146

Don't follow by example

By scooterbyrd - 31/08/2020 02:01

Today, I found out the psychiatrist who treats me for bipolar disorder died. He committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 144

Panic stations!

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 05:00

Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 1 136

Nice guy

By LeftOut - 19/12/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years suggested I don’t display affection or try to hold his hand at a party because a girl there “recently got broken up with” and he doesn’t wanna “hurt her feelings.” When I replied that this was irrational, he told me, “Then don’t come at all stupid bitch, geez!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 18/11/2018 12:30 - United Kingdom - Maidenhead

Today, my partner heard the cat about to puke and shoved her off the bed. I found this out in the morning. With my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 547

You deserved it 263

By GasFromThePast - 24/11/2018 16:40 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I smelled gas when entering my apartment. I checked everything and then left to seek help. I was told to call 911, which resulted in two firetrucks and 10+ firefighters, one of which was my high school sweetheart, entering my messy apartment and finding nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 907

You deserved it 664

It's a gas gas gas

By FartyCar - 30/11/2018 17:30

Today, I found a bag of frozen broccoli in my car boot from when I went shopping 3 days ago. My whole car smells like farts now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 1 033

Gimme the drugs

By Debi - 25/01/2022 01:59

Today, I scrambled to get out of work on the dot to go to a special pharmacy that closes at 5 pm an hour away. I arrived at 4:58. Upon reaching the door, one of the employees came and locked it in my face. Apparently, her going home early was more important than me getting my medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 407

By Almostlovedchild - 20/01/2017 18:00

Today, my father made a post on Facebook with an old baby picture, saying how proud he was that I got into college. This would have been sweet if the baby picture was actually of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 042

You deserved it 587

Don't know, don't care

By All a hoax - 25/10/2020 20:05 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boss still won't believe in climate change, and won't do anything to reduce our carbon footprint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 528

By Kaitlyn Aronson - 07/12/2018 15:30

Today, my coworker spilled sticky fruit glaze all over my cake display cake and left it overnight uncleaned. The same display case I spent 2 hours cleaning the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 574

You deserved it 167

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my mom texted me to let me know that my wife and I are no longer allowed to visit her house together, because she doesn’t want it to appear like she’s OK with queer relationships, but she’s OK if we visit one at a time because she still wants to see our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 197

Insanity

By mental - 02/09/2019 18:01 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I had my first appointment with my new therapist. After I told her my family history and past abusive situations, she looked at me and asked, "How are you still sane?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 05/03/2017 12:00

Today, I have a gigantic zit inside my left nostril. Good news: no one can see it and no need for makeup on it. Bad news: my nose really itches, and I constantly feel like I'm about to sneeze it out like a foreign object. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 702

You deserved it 445

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 302

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 09:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 727

By Shoutout1011 - 15/04/2017 22:00

Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 480

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The Top

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 285

You deserved it 3 307

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 274

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 037

You deserved it 2 240

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 248

Today, I was called a whore by my own parents, simply because I’ve never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month. Everyone I’ve ever dated has dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 191

Today, I was talking to my online therapist about my problems with relationships, mainly that guys only want sex and don't listen to me. After I'd confided in him, and told him how I felt about my issues, he told me he would marry me and have my children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 010

You deserved it 245