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What fresh hell is this?

By Rhinobro01 - 27/07/2019 10:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was at a friend's house when his dad told me that he had Photoshopped his face onto a woman's body. I looked at the photo and said it was gross, disgusting, and weird. Later on, my friend told me that the photo was actually a picture of his dad's twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 769

Fishy

By Cheated - 05/09/2023 22:00

Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 501

Is it though?

By lindsey822 - 08/04/2021 10:59

Today, my brother and his wife have seriously decided to name their son “Bubba.” I don’t know how to politely explain to them that Bubba is a dog’s name, not a human’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 270

By M3DO - 03/08/2016 01:04

Today, I got called for a job that I applied to 2 months ago, just to ask me if I had an older brother that could work for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 814

Geography for Dummies

By SMRT - 22/10/2019 06:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I had an argument with my dad about Venice being in Italy, not Spain. He wouldn't believe me, and had to Google it. He's an engineer for an aerospace company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 187

Busted

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 23:00

Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 176

Twice error

By rkaneki - 09/11/2019 20:00

Today, the guy I've been seeing told me he did not want to pursue a relationship with me after over 2 months of talking. He did the exact same thing to me 7 years ago. I fell for him twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 1 519

Take care

By Buyingagun - 08/04/2020 05:00

Today, I looked out the window just in time to see a coyote carrying off my cat that I had just let outside five minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 576

By Bad footwear choice - 08/08/2018 19:30 - Canada - Whitby

Today, both my flip flops broke when I left the pool. Since I was getting on the bus soon, I didn't think it was a big deal, but when it came the driver said that I couldn't get on without shoes and drove off. I walked barefoot for over an hour downtown to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 362

By EmbarrassedBigSister - 19/08/2018 05:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I went out for the afternoon leaving my younger brother at home. He's never had a girlfriend, which I always put down to him being shy and a little overweight. Well, I came home early to walk in on him taking it up the arse from his uni buddy. Off the charts awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 570

By rocks_hurt - 16/08/2018 13:00

Today, I rushed to catch my bus and arrived as it pulled up, but one of the tires threw a rock at my head and knocked me out. I missed my bus and the final that I am not allowed to retake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 209

You deserved it 257

By issue - 07/09/2018 01:30

Today, I tried to get a job at Walmart. My mom was the hiring manager. She turned me down due to lack of work experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 460

We have to talk…

By Anonymous - 09/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, my wife asked me to come talk to her in the bedroom. Thinking she wanted to have a quickie while her sister was spending time with our son, I rushed into the room. She didn't want a quickie, she wanted a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 747

You deserved it 573

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 182

By Lisa - 28/10/2018 22:00

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 313

Shit happens

By DEAD inside - 15/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Pomona

Today, I woke up and brushed my teeth as usual. My brother had decided it would be a good time to prank me and rubbed a ton of salt into my toothbrush. A while later, he stood outside the bathroom door repeatedly saying sorry. It was Epsom salt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 686

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 12/01/2017 14:00

Today, I was enjoying my first vacation day in 2 years. My boss then called me to come in, saying it was an emergency. I got to work and got fired. Yes, my boss made me come in just to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 892

You deserved it 613

By cars hate me - 26/02/2017 11:00 - United States - Compton

Today, my car was rear-ended and totaled. Last year, during the same month, my previous car was rear-ended and totaled. I should just stop driving during the month of February. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 192

You deserved it 432

By Scared - 08/04/2019 17:00 - United States - Pacific

Today, I fell asleep while watching the Ted Bundy documentary. I'm a woman, home alone, in Seattle. The nightmares were so scary, I may never want to sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 787

By Zipman - 09/12/2014 21:42 - Austria - Vienna

Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked why. She replied: "It's easier to pop my pimples." FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 67

A bit early for all that

By Anonymous - 09/04/2017 20:00

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 1 431

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 970

You deserved it 1 144

By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 949

You deserved it 926

By AnAngryyGiraffe - 02/11/2016 19:56 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my group is so lazy and unwilling to do work for our debate project that my competition is offering to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 375

You deserved it 869

Shady

By NotFamily - 22/03/2021 19:59

Today, my boyfriend blocked me on Facebook. He said he's restricting it to only close family and cousins. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 112

Parent-sanctioned violence

By Momma - 26/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter informed me that, in order to train the dumb out of her brother, she’s gonna slap him whenever he says or does something dumb. She’s slapped him 8 times already and unfortunately, each slap was justified. My boy is dumb as a box of rocks. Hope the slapping helps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 1 127

By GLX - 02/08/2017 06:00 - United States - Sand Springs

Today, I woke up to the rickety old ceiling fan above my bed crashing down on top of me. I'm fine, however I am now grounded until I can buy a new ceiling fan to replace the one I "broke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 010

You deserved it 304

By dumpyhair - 16/08/2019 04:04

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he, "just can't keep dating a girl with so many split ends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 252

By Knottywoman - 03/09/2017 23:15

Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 244

You deserved it 246

Creeper Alert

By of fucking course - 05/09/2017 06:00

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 185

You deserved it 903

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The Top

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 693

You deserved it 11 285

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 817

You deserved it 5 782

Today, I told a customer her total was $89.40. She put her leg up on the counter and dug a $100 bill out of her nasty sock. It was damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 431

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 564

You deserved it 40 670

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 37 971

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 177

You deserved it 1 945