You dolt!
By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States
By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States
By notamathematician - 07/03/2010 10:27 - United States
By fish killer - 25/03/2011 21:52 - United States
By oliverP123 - 22/07/2011 04:11 - United States
By disfordiploma - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:36 - United States
By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 16:07 - United States
By UncleRory - 16/05/2009 09:13 - United States
By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States
By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved
By Awie - 20/10/2011 08:26 - Austria
By ugh - 08/06/2012 04:35 - Canada - Mississauga
By clumbsy_at_best - 16/07/2011 13:11 - United States
By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 15:42 - United States
By Micheal - 23/11/2009 03:59 - Canada
By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 22:00 - United States
By brokennose - 26/08/2009 04:40 - United States
By bettycrocker - 14/05/2009 18:16 - United States
Hey all - I'm the OP. To answer the most commonly asked question: the trick to keeping cookies fresh for a week is to add an extra tablespoon of vegetable oil to the dough, putting a piece of bread in with them and putting them in the smallest ziploc possible.
By beyondembarrassed - 05/05/2013 05:44 - United States
By fired - 13/05/2012 06:26 - United States - Portland
By krushr - 23/01/2011 05:32 - Canada
By hotride - 15/12/2010 16:34
I had just started restoring it when I got it, and nobody would insure it when I got it. it looked like a junkyard heap of shit, I just got it back the day before I broke up with her. still have the burnt up shell in my drive way that I have to dispose of :(
By Kaka_Karrot_Kake - 13/09/2013 13:49 - United States - Houston
Ok to clear things up, I was walking home and he asked for money. He looked, and even SMELLED like a homeless person. Sure enough, I gave him money and all of a sudden he got up and started walking and I saw him take out an iPhone 5 and call his friend. I heard him say, "Lol dude it worked!" Sorry I wrote so much ._. And no he was NOT really homeless
By JPF - 13/08/2009 03:13 - Australia
By Anonymous - 20/09/2012 12:31 - United States
By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States
By strawberrypuff - 04/05/2009 23:39 - United States
By Unbearable - 25/06/2011 19:58 - United States
One of my friends brought to my attention that one of my ol' FMLs is still circulating with quite a bit of controversy, so I'm back to add a little bit of insight: For those of you who called me childish for not applying my own sunscreen, I'm far from flexible and I'd like to say that any normal person can't reach their back, so my mom went ahead and did that for me. Since she had some extra sunscreen on her fingers, she went ahead and did my face too, as I did the rest of my body. For those of you who said that it was rude of me to burp on my mother, I completely agree, but my eyes were closed and I had just had Taco Bell, so you know how it is. I didn't know my mom's fingers were so close to my face, my eyes being closed in all, so—I don't really remember, this was years ago. I'm glad I have a published FML, but my day at the beach turned sour when I had to wash sunscreen out of my mouth with seawater! My mom and I still laugh about it, though. Have a good day!
By wowhoopla - 11/01/2010 01:10 - France
well if u all must know hat happened I showed him we had Betty crocker chipsahoy and Oreo but he insistead on having them all. And all I could day was I'm going to be cookie broke so he decided to share some... and so i had cookies with some random drunk who broke into my house. can't day I've done that before...
By prego - 13/04/2012 14:15 - United States - Sterling Heights
Keywords
they were having sex on chat roulette.....