The Top

OP here, all of the suggestions saying go to a higher up are great, but the only reason I can't do that is because it's a family owned restaurant. I am the assistant manager and I've been working there for almost a year; I've only called out twice. My bosses are the owners son and nephew. There's not much I can do about the situation other than leave the job as this isn't the first time they've left early while I closed the restaurant. Thank you all for the concern about my grandmother. She is doing alright now and she's stable.

By Singlewife - 23/03/2019 22:00

Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 397

You deserved it 1 612

Waste of time and money

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 17:34

Today, I found out that what I thought was "acne" is actually an allergic reaction to a cream I've been using for years. I thought the cream was helping me with the breakouts but my doctor says the real acne probably went away naturally years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 511

You deserved it 2 507

Protip

By Tipless - 07/11/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 956

You deserved it 2 482

By Anonyme - 02/09/2015 04:21 - France - Mitry-mory

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 147

By Ican'tgotoschoolapparently - 07/10/2016 07:18 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I found out after $200 worth of checks and tests, three rugs being ruined from her peeing and pooping on them, that my cat isn't sick. She just has really bad separation anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 395

You deserved it 1 190

New to me

By MisterMisinformed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 112

You deserved it 58 285

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 4 311

Shunned

By ReayHorse - 28/07/2016 16:02

Today, I ran into an old couple everyone has been avoiding in my small town. Four weeks ago, they accidentally posted a picture of their pierced junk on Facebook, and I was one of the unlucky people who saw the actual picture. I can't make eye contact with them anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 424

You deserved it 1 832

Hovering

By get me out of this house! - 03/03/2014 06:12 - United States

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a Bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 3 632

By Furzball - 27/05/2016 06:19 - United States - Wildomar

Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 266

You deserved it 13 484

Furzball tells us more.

Furzball 5

Friday 27 May 2016 18:30

Hey OP here. So yeah, I do agree it was a lazy stupid decision to go over that turd. Lesson definitely learned. As to YLS and YDI I think it's funny the two are running almost even. Although I mostly figured I'd share with you all for the grossout laugh.

By xyz - 09/02/2009 18:24 - Ireland

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with that I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response : "Not significantly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 827

You deserved it 30 767

So brave

By baller12 - 03/02/2009 15:25 - United States

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 minutes early, only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat, sat down, and unpacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 292

You deserved it 38 716

Time to go wireless

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 365

You deserved it 3 489

By Alesana - 19/02/2017 16:16 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I watched an episode of the children's show, "Goosebumps". It scared the shit out of me. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 872

You deserved it 1 376

Alesana_pond tells us more.

Alesana_pond 9

Saturday 18 February 2017 22:12

OP here. The episode was the one w the kid and the piano I forgot what the episode is called. And it was near the end when it showed the pianos being played by hands that weren't attached to arms or anything. By "scared the shit out of me" was more like "it's ****** creepy nope nope nope nope nope." The visual just creeped me the **** out. And I skipped forward to the next episode lol. I don't really get scared by horror shit. I can eat a big bloody steak and watch Saw lol. In the end tho I ended up giggling because I'm a sign spinner and I imagined what it'd look like if a pair of hands were spinning a sign. All y'all's comments made my day tho xD

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 17:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my brother hugged me for the first time. Turns out he was patting me down to make sure I didn't have cigarettes. Love you too, bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 830

You deserved it 2 669

By purpletrout - 30/11/2016 06:39 - United States - Lansing

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 439

You deserved it 1 138

By BlueSteele220 - 16/06/2017 10:02

Today, after driving 15 hours to enjoy a 6-day family vacation with my in-laws, my husband and I found out that, even though we spent $600 like everyone else, we are sleeping on a pullout couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 682

You deserved it 512

BlueSteele220 tells us more.

BlueSteele220 31

Friday 16 June 2017 0:57

Hey OP here. actually it is a nice cabin. my sister -in- law and get husband rented out another cabin when they arrived so we wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. We would have for them, the other siblings made the arrangements. Turns out the couch is cooler than the room we have, but we also wanted intimacy..

By Dmessmer1 - 05/06/2016 08:37 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 139

You deserved it 1 729