Spicy

Furby freakout

By furbys69 - 31/05/2017 09:00 - United States - Kingsport

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get frisky when the Furby Party Rocker all the way across the room started going off on its own and completely killed the mood. I took the batteries out of the little bastard immediately, but the mood was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 932

You deserved it 825

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 12:00

Spicy

Today, the first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door was to loudly announce all the hot kinky stuff he was about to do to me on the kitchen table. Unfortunately for him my dad, mother and both my brothers had just dropped in for a visit and heard every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 009

You deserved it 827

By Anonymous - 25/05/2017 20:00

Spicy

Today, after spending five months helping my husband lose a ton, he left me. Apparently, "fit people" should only have sex with "fit people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 142

You deserved it 534

By Letteh - 19/05/2017 00:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend transferred some money to me online. He put a joke reference of "Anal nice 'n cheap". We need to show a month-long bank statement to our mortgage broker tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 225

You deserved it 566

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 882

You deserved it 420

By Anonymous - 15/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, after I caught my husband cheating and lying, he had the nerve to claim it wasn't a big deal because, "I always come home to you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 541

You deserved it 402

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 832

You deserved it 623

By zemmiphobia - 11/05/2017 09:37 - United States - Mountain View

Spicy

Today, my sister admitted to having sex with her current boyfriend. On my bed. Again. I even have a spare bed in my room and yet they still go for mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 558

You deserved it 761

zemmiphopia tells us more.

zemmiphopia 4

Friday 12 May 2017 3:17

Woah okay was not expecting this to get published. I'm OP. Okay so first off my sister and I are really close and always have been so she's been forgiven and we can joke about it now. And secondly, we were both pretty amused by the suggestions of ways to get her back, I think my favorite is "punch her in the head". And I would totally buy a lock if I could, by the way.

By caesarinozeppeli - 11/05/2017 16:00

Spicy

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 182

You deserved it 416

By Nessa - 10/05/2017 15:00 - United States - Pomona

Spicy

Today, my mom got out a camcorder she's had a while, saying that there were tapes of me from when I was a child. The first tape I put in was a porno starring her and her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 730

You deserved it 562

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 296

You deserved it 724

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 205

You deserved it 569

By Ackno - 06/05/2017 16:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my husband when the pores on his forehead triggered my trypophobia. We had to stop before I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 111

You deserved it 1 780

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 02:20

Spicy

Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 980

You deserved it 466

Never again

By Anonymous - 05/05/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 720

You deserved it 537

By Anonymous - 26/04/2017 04:00

Spicy

Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 727

You deserved it 897

By usarmywife - 17/04/2017 02:00

Spicy

Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 204

You deserved it 606

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 00:00

Spicy

Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 382

You deserved it 404

Perv

By WhyMe - 09/04/2017 22:00

Spicy

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 422

You deserved it 396

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 410

You deserved it 2 572

Hott

By disturbedgd - 03/04/2017 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Spicy

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It involved the Power Rangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 192

You deserved it 1 116

By Crabby - 30/03/2017 17:00 - United Kingdom - Clitheroe

Spicy

Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 424

You deserved it 6 324

By DemCherries - 28/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Overland Park

Spicy

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 316

You deserved it 570

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I started Lifeguard Training and we had the fitness test you had to pass to continue. I work out everyday and I start on our football team. It's spring break and i've worked everyday (construction). I'm fit. Time comes to take the test, I finished last, beat by a 44 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 147

You deserved it 17 734

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 500

You deserved it 7 121

Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 729

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 132

You deserved it 5 677

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 242

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 280

You deserved it 4 717