When you're too cute to look angry By Lewis - 31/01/2019 19:00 RESPECT MY AUTHORITHAY!!! I agree, your life sucks 1 459 You deserved it 1 035 Share Tweet Share
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML I agree, your life sucks 208 You deserved it 1 187
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML I agree, your life sucks 224 310 You deserved it 35 846
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 396 You deserved it 3 808
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 020 You deserved it 8 683
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML I agree, your life sucks 44 602 You deserved it 6 238
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 914 You deserved it 632
Today, my mother started nagging me for spending $500 on a guitar, stating that, "We're not in the mood for unnecessary bullcrap." I paid for it with MY money, and she suddenly turned up at MY house because my father kicked her out of their house after finding out that she cheated on him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 401 You deserved it 100
AAAAAAAAHHHHH ✊ *cling*
What did that bell do to you? 😊