Miscellaneous Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out...

Anonymous - 08/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

52 902

7 988

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

56 962

4 193

PTSD

I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

9 432

915

Go big or go home

kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

928

132

AKA taking a screenshot

Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

1 125

403

Anonymous - 22/12/2010 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

34 855

5 534

Hold the line

Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

275

273

Faulty plumbing

Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

453

119

Let it all out

Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

853

146

Too trusting

Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

655

200

monkers - 06/10/2012 07:12 - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

25 287

1 784

rainbowbabe_907 5

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

Damn, wish I could do that.

RoseCrystal 17

Saturday 8 October 2011 19:51

um.....well done?

EvangelinaGirl 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 7:59

... You're very talented.

MainPrism 16

Sunday 9 October 2011 11:53

That's the funniest shit ive heard all day lmfao!!! No pun intended lol

Lauinater 4

Sunday 9 October 2011 13:52

Thats not a FML, you kind of GMH.

LoveMay 10

Sunday 9 October 2011 14:50

Ew. That's disgusting …

MegumiStarr 13

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:14

oh god. fyl!

Equin0x 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:56

That's quite impressive, though maybe not the best location.

hateevryone 14

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:58

that must have been one hella of a sneeze

WowUStupid 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 15:59

Did you blow your nose, wipe, and flush?

michi23 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 16:34

You should empty your bladder more often and that wont happen.

Superllama12 11

Sunday 9 October 2011 16:47

...out of your nose?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML

1 272

110

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

3 765

386

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

31 973

8 103

Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML

52 335

27 371

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

32 953

3 130

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

21 193

47 586