Miscellaneous: Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's...

I am envisioning OP's mom got 4 boxes of pasta on sale and thought oh, that'll last me all year. Until OP plowed through them. One family's year supply may be different than another's.

TheBrochure 22

Friday 26 July 2013 13:05

Allons-y, Alonso!

irishmaiden78 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:19

Shh, spoilers!

slap_u_much 6

Friday 26 July 2013 13:07

Who wouldn't

fakedsincerity 32

Friday 26 July 2013 13:18

Well that sounds healthy...

beclaurela 18

Friday 26 July 2013 13:29

My life.

Ruuku 11

Friday 26 July 2013 13:33

I took down 4 fudge cakes in an hour and all I got was diarrhea.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 26 July 2013 13:40

How the hell'd you do that?!?!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized I'm in a horribly toxic marriage. My wife offered to let me sleep in, and my first thought was, "This is a trap, in thirty minutes she'll be yelling at me for being lazy." I tested it. Yup, it was a trap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 73

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 429

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 55 471

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 2 903

Today, I needed to cut something open so I asked my roommate to toss me my pocket knife from the counter. Apparently, he heard, "Open the knife then toss me it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 1 028

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 369

You deserved it 2 805