Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression...

By Rellies - 02/05/2019 02:00

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 281

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Aracrifice98 - 03/07/2021 01:59

Today, the day after saying that I'd never broken a bone, I snapped my fibula in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 123

By Travellingluck - 20/10/2017 16:12

Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 707

You deserved it 263

Hammer-headed

By Anonymous - 11/08/2014 16:27 - Canada - Saint John

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 249

You deserved it 4 937

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 10:00

Today, I finally got the cast off my leg after being unable to walk for 6 weeks, watching daytime TV or playing my husband's Xbox all day. The second the plaster came off, I tried to stand up, tripped over the doctor's foot and broke the apparently still not fully healed leg again in the same spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 217

By pinocchio - 24/06/2011 23:04 - United States

Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 285

You deserved it 8 188

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I'm celebrating one year of retirement. Also, almost one year of recovering from a broken leg, quickly followed by a broken hip. I may never walk correctly again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 80

Falling Down

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 02:12

Today, I woke up in hospital. Apparently, I fell down the stairs, broke 3 ribs, one toe, and hit my head so much that 12 stitches were needed. I also blacked out for an hour before my husband found me covered in blood. Recovery should take about a month and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 138

By fmlmao - 28/01/2017 12:00

Today, I was feeling depressed, so I decided to go snowboarding with friends to cheer myself up. I fell on the first trail and broke my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 844

You deserved it 579

By Fractured - 31/03/2012 01:43 - United States

Today, I fractured a bone in my knee. Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace for the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 283

You deserved it 2 655

By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 01:07 - United States - Bend

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 408

You deserved it 2 486

BEEEEES 15

Thursday 2 May 2019 22:38

Swiss ******* cheese that had to hurt, hope you guys have some good luck soon.

DieYuppieScum 4

Thursday 2 May 2019 17:05

From the bends to the breaks.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 2 May 2019 4:22

You people need jobs! Vacationing is just not safe for you klutzes.

Matthew Irmen 11

Thursday 2 May 2019 15:17

I’d recommend a nice stay at home vacation with lots of couch time

DieYuppieScum 4

Thursday 2 May 2019 17:05

From the bends to the breaks.

BEEEEES 15

Thursday 2 May 2019 22:38

Swiss ******* cheese that had to hurt, hope you guys have some good luck soon.

0neiros 14

Friday 10 May 2019 0:10

Look, if your idea of fun is to tie your feet to two skinny boards and go sliding down a mountain, what the hell do you expect to happen?

Keywords

Awkward Parents Relatable Work Job interview Social Media Love Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice Friends Kids AITA Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism Money Weird Gamers Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 82

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 403

You deserved it 519

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 43 826

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 605

You deserved it 6 029

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 132

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 109

You deserved it 3 058

Today, as always, I get the hiccups ten times a day, sometimes more. They are very painful, and the only thing that makes them go away is water. The doctors have found no apparent cause. I hate my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 84