To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, as a police officer, I was sent to deal with an indecent exposure. It was two homeless people who'd both passed out on drugs in the middle of sex. I had to wake them up, then help prise them apart, as his penis was still very visibly inside her exposed for the whole street to see. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 821 You deserved it 186
Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 889 You deserved it 3 051
Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 194 You deserved it 1 468
Today, I bought new earphones for my phone so I could finally listen to music again. Not an hour later I broke it. FML I agree, your life sucks 167 You deserved it 316
Today, I was about to go out and get some groceries, but the moment I slammed the door I realized my keys were still inside. My inner caveman instincts told me to immediately break down the door, so now I have to get a doorknob replacement instead of food. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 370 You deserved it 2 343
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 728 You deserved it 19 399