Intimacy Monday morning blues - FML

Monday morning blues

desperate905 - - Netherlands

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

25 475

28 923

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

ryanisexy 5

Tuesday 21 February 2012 11:59

I go to bed half an hour later.

Pentium_4 27

Tuesday 21 February 2012 12:01

before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...

sdeniro 6

Monday 27 February 2012 16:52

Omg! Weirdo lmfao!

Heinousness 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:15

You took single to a new level

rileypena1985 2

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:27

That's really sad...forever alone.

MisfittotheDoor 6

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:19

That is pitiful.

cheesiestcake 1

Sunday 11 March 2012 2:43

4 ever alone!

Zoyaaa 9

Thursday 24 May 2012 22:32

A great start to a new day :)

ninjachick_15 0

Monday 18 June 2012 22:55

txt me(; 714-489-3165

DelaineyFitz 3

Monday 26 November 2012 22:21

The name says it all..

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

39 142

5 250

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

17 895

36 566

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

40 838

2 913

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

34 955

6 644

Today, in the most polite and friendly way I could think of, I told a friend that she's slightly too dramatic about things. She started throwing a fit, deleted my number, and ended our seven-year friendship. FML

1 754

332

Today, and until today, I'd never met anyone who took Tucker Carlson's bullshit seriously. Then, tonight, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I managed to bite my tongue, but… FML

866

336