Health It wasn't me, I swear

It wasn't me, I swear

Anonymous - 27/10/2009 10:28 - United Kingdom

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML

39 633

2 946

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Get out

pipefitter28 - 27/12/2012 06:46 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

22 140

28 923

Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

23 458

74 975

yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

29 265

14 876

Core

Anonymous - 18/03/2023 16:00

Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML

1 126

169

Stealth

smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

40 149

3 871

Foul

cdubb27 - 11/10/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

29 142

9 052

tantanpanda - 24/06/2015 12:44 - United States

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

31 511

1 944

belle_arina - 08/10/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

37 439

8 525

Stealth bomber

Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

1 586

137

Check her out

minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

53 828

6 914

2step 1

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:04

WTF? Reported and kicked out for farting? Is it some nazi gym?

FreddyLunch 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 15:58

"Fancied" is such a British thing to say, I'm glad that you are keeping it British and didn't say you had a crush on her.

AlexJakubsen1 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 19:31

where the **** do you go, Planet Fitness? Or as I call it, Planet pussy

greent_fml 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 3:50

i believe you deserve it. the girl probably sensed that you "fancied" her.

Poppycorn22 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 9:15

You should tell your instructor to look up the definition of "antisocial".

GlumpyWonderCat 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 14:48

She sounds like a bitch. If she's so concerned with an accidental fart slipping in the gym she is more than likely a huge pain in the ass to date. No worries.

gann1 0

Friday 30 October 2009 1:18

This is the most British thing i've ever read

Ninjaface 0

Friday 30 October 2009 8:29

Since when do gyms kick people out for being antisocial? Are they expecting you to TALK to all the old people who stare at you while you're working out (regardless of your gender)? What is this world coming to...