Miscellaneous: Corny jokes - FML

Corny jokes

By embarrassed - 12/07/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

agreeclassic 51 356

vote type 1 12 710

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By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

agreeclassic 25 829

vote type 1 2 561

By Anonymous - 16/02/2013 00:39 - Italy - Milan

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

agreeclassic 39 825

vote type 1 3 781

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

agreeclassic 52 199

vote type 1 7 699

Classic toddler moment

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML

agreeclassic 379

vote type 1 104

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

agreeclassic 29 274

vote type 1 3 695

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

agreeclassic 61

vote type 1 2 046

Unnecessary

By Ava K - 01/10/2019 16:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

agreeclassic 1 589

vote type 1 183

By woopwoop - 18/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

agreeclassic 58 237

vote type 1 10 898

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

agreeclassic 33 502

vote type 1 2 852

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

agreeclassic 37 181

vote type 1 3 838

Next

TOP COMMENTS

MrGlad 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:44

Cool mom, lol. I wish my mom was like that...

Pb_lily 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Oh get over yourself. Your mom is funny.

Comments

EpicFail985 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 0:17

This should be on mila not fml

shoeliz 0

Monday 15 March 2010 2:45

my mom does that all the time. good stuff

FabiansWifey1 0

Thursday 13 May 2010 1:51

your mom rocks

SaraLovesMyChem 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 6:05

LMAO, don't worry, I've had a bad experience with my mom in Target too XD

Link5794 18

Saturday 4 September 2010 20:06

Kristinky 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 8:38

I. LOVE. YOUR. MOM.

Eza_fml 0

Monday 3 January 2011 1:31

OMG your mom is amazing!! XD thats soooo funny.

mickeyroxsox 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 7:07

your mom is cool. you need to get a sense of humor

ILuffYou 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 6:28

thats not an fml! if your moms cool enough to be like that you should be happy! your moms cool!

Leser98 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:14

omg I almost pissed myself when I read this. I love your mom

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Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 2 593

vote type 1 529

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

agreeclassic 28 432

vote type 1 3 676

Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML

agreeclassic 246

vote type 1 795

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

agreeclassic 15 496

vote type 1 54 273

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

agreeclassic 42 373

vote type 1 8 484

Today, I started my weekend right… outside my grandmother's house, trying to repair her yard. The senile landlord came by and trashed it. This isn't the first time. He's pushing 90 years-old, so it's hard to tell if he has dementia or if he's doing it on purpose. All I want to know is, why hasn't he retired? FML

agreeclassic 928

vote type 1 62