After too many family dinners By Lewis - 28/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 137 Share Tweet Share
Today, literally the only thing that now motivates my husband to do anything is sex. Not food, money, humour, or anything. Once he’s had sex, he’ll do anything I ask him to for about 8 hours, then he turns back into a depressing, shiftless lump who either goes to work, sits in his chair, or sleeps. FML I agree, your life sucks 276 You deserved it 503
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 603 You deserved it 128
Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 314 You deserved it 7 436
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 180 You deserved it 4 820
Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 466 You deserved it 15 019
Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML I agree, your life sucks 819 You deserved it 86
Today, it's been a few weeks since I had my first sexual experience in 6 years following my divorce. It was with a woman I’ve known for years. We get on amazingly, more than me and my ex ever did. She’s sweet, sexy, funny, amazing in bed, and even likes Xbox. Unfortunately she also gave me Scabies. FML I agree, your life sucks 736 You deserved it 202
Today, my toddler gave me a compliment. She said, "Mommy, you’re so pretty... when the lights are off." FML I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 95