Nearly FMLs

By failingfrosh - 27/08/2016 02:58 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, and for the past few days, I'm supposed to have been at freshman orientation for college. Instead, I've been vomiting and crying alone in my room because I'm so nervous due to anxiety - now I'm nervous AND have no idea what's going on, adding to my distress. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 179

By ztodaro - 27/08/2016 01:54 - United States - Key Largo

Today, I packed my bags to the airport at 7 where my flight departs at 7:50. I had two suitcases, one with my prescription medicine and clothes, and the other with my Xbox. Guess which one I forgot...at least I can play games for a week.

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 172

By Brye - 27/08/2016 01:53 - United States - Eugene

Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they were all male) to stay the night. We're all booked with old ladies here for a wool/knitting festival. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 108

By spelled - 27/08/2016 01:52 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I discovered that my mom chooses to speak to and spend more time with my best friend than me. She claims my friend as her daughter. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 90

By anonymous - 27/08/2016 01:50 - United States - New York

Today, I'm on the holiday of a lifetime in New York. We went to visit Liberty and Ellis islands, and I got pulled over for making a metal detector go off. I was confused, since I didn't have a belt or anything on. Turns out it was the underwire in my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 208

By stormageton - 27/08/2016 01:35 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my driving instructor was over 30 minutes late and when I texted him to ask where he was he told me " oh some other girl with the same name as you called and cancelled and I guess I thought it was you, so I filled your time slot" FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 81

By Teyros - 27/08/2016 01:33 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random number to start a conversation with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 99

By aianmoo16 - 27/08/2016 01:04 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, after being lost for 3 hours outside with low battery, and finally regaining signal, an old man came up to me and grabbed my phone, threw it somewhere and lectured me about how I need to "enjoy life" and stop wasting time on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 69

By Fuckity - 27/08/2016 00:08

Today my boss asked us to cut stickers when we weren't busy. I work in a call center at night and at times it gets pretty dead, so sure I'll do that until a call comes in. My coworker however said, " No, its Friday I'm not doing that." He got an award for excellence later that same shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 58

By boat man - 27/08/2016 00:07 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, three of us were working, one guy wanted to stay for a longer shift and the other wanted to go home; so they ask our manger if they could swap shifts. The manger got pissed and sent both home, guess who got to do all the evening/closing work, fml

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 52

By Summer - 26/08/2016 23:43

Today, our air conditioner went out. Trying to stay cool, I used an ice pack from when I sprained my ankle. I learned that when it say do not use on bare skin, it means it. Now I have a burn across my boobs and chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 176

By some stressed college girl - 26/08/2016 23:40 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to run 3 blocks barefoot. I missed my bus. I waited 20 min. for the next bus. Then that bus broke down. I waited an hour for the next bus. Then my boyfriend says he doesn't want me to see him sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 58

By ban_ANA_bat - 26/08/2016 23:24

Today, because i criticized how the cleaning ladies did my bathtub last week, I came home to a giant poop pile in the tub. They didn't clean anything, took the money i left for them, and left a note. The note said, " Clean this bitch! We quit!" This is the first time I ever complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 65

By coius - 26/08/2016 22:50

Today, my girlfriend filed a criminal complaint with the police because her parents stole her id ssn card and birth certificate and fled the state while she was in the hospital. Police said they cant help. We are broke and she cant cash her checks without an id. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 43

By HateStorms - 26/08/2016 22:48

Today, I hid in the bathroom of a Starbucks as a tornado completely flattened the building around me. Scariest moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 100

By Unemployed - 26/08/2016 22:27

Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site' after years of unemployment and a desperate need for money. After registering, I got a message telling me they couldn't accept and process my application at that time. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 57

By imabassist - 26/08/2016 21:27

Today, my new guy friend told me that he is madly in love with me. When I suggested "let's give it some time and see what happens", he called me immature and blocked me on every form of social media I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 71

By mousepig - 26/08/2016 18:18 - United States - Detroit

Today, while at my cashiering job, I couldn't stop laughing. It got to the point that my manager had me sign off to compose myself. What was I laughing at? A song I made up for my guinea pig. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 139

By withoutacomputer - 26/08/2016 17:43 - United States - Surprise

Today, I got a virus while trying to watch porn on my laptop. I then had to "accidentally" spill water on it to keep my parents from finding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 285

By Ava_Darkflame - 26/08/2016 15:34

Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the house has angered a few people. Everyday this week, my mailbox has been ripped out of the ground by a group of guys, not knowing I moved in. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 26/08/2016 15:23

Today, I was talking about Star Wars with some of my friends. When they started talking about how bad the prequel movies were, I told them that I thought Revenge of the Sith was pretty good. They aren't speaking to me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 104

By annoyed146578 - 26/08/2016 11:47

Today, I was out camping with family at a cottage. My cousins were playing around the water catching frogs and one of them came running up behind me, pulled open my pants and threw a frog down them. It freaked me out so bad that I stripped down and ran across the yard in just my underwear, fml.

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 67

By KaityK - 25/08/2016 15:22 - United States

Today, I woke up getting kissed by a dog. I live alone and don't have a dog. I'm also highly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 136

By badxluckxcentral - 25/08/2016 15:05 - United States

Today, after a heavy night of drinking i woke up next to a homeless man half dressed FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 340

By KyrieLyn - 25/08/2016 14:57 - United States - Royal Oak

Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm borrowing something from you it's something not seen, give me your underwear, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 98

By gingerlover01 - 25/08/2016 14:41 - United States

Today, during an extremely romantic moment of cuddling with my girlfriend she started to cry, turns out she's not gay she was actually just pretending for her boyfriend who finds lesbians hot. He dumped her today and now we are all single.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 100

By orange-diva - 25/08/2016 14:17 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print out some documents from my laptop. After turning on my laptop, the screen froze, it wouldn't turn off, I couldn't shut it down. It finally unfroze and restarted 2 minutes before I had to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 89

By HijoDeCrouton - 25/08/2016 14:07

Today, I was taking a shower at my sister's Chicago apartment. I was rinsing, when something flew out of my hair. Turns out, it was a flying roach.

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 62

By ant_1b - 25/08/2016 14:01 - France - Vierzon

Today, I had a dream that my soon-to-be ex-wife was coming home to patch things up. She rang the bell of our apartment, I went to open the door and... woke up alone in the staircase, locked out. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 68

By EnergyLegs - 25/08/2016 13:44 - United States - Holden

Today, after choosing all classes that start after 11, so I could finally sleep in 'til 9 everyday, I was informed that there will be construction approx. 100 feet from my residence hall, for the entire year, starting at 7 AM Mon-Fri, with the potential for weekend work later in the year, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 89

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The Top

Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 674

You deserved it 1 436

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 166

You deserved it 2 375

Today, I forgot to bring a letter to my secondary school, so I went to detention. I told them it got lost, but it's only when my parents phoned and told them the same thing that they believed it. So I got detention for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 233

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 002

You deserved it 29 384

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 116

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a wig. It's my real hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 178