Work

By prick - 30/10/2015 21:53 - United States - Dover

Today, as I rung up a customer's groceries, he gave me a pitying look and said I'd have a "real job" if I'd only studied harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 2 173

By whythebunny - 30/10/2015 18:56 - United States - Bastrop

Today, in an effort to look more professional at work, I wore high heels. My boss decided today would be a great day for me to walk around on the sidewalk holding a sign to advertise instead of doing the job I was hired for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 768

You deserved it 2 380

Don't look up

By sparky83000 - 29/10/2015 20:51 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 196

You deserved it 1 456

By cpizzle12 - 29/10/2015 10:20 - United States - Manassas

Today, I got fired from my job a week before I started my new position in a different area of the company. My supervisor found out I was going to be making more money than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 1 605

cpizzle12 tells us more.

cpizzle12 7

Wednesday 18 November 2015 7:37

UPDATE: I talked with VP of sales s( he was going to be my new boss) .. And apparently something much more is going on that involves HR. HR drama going on I guess.. He will be further investigating this week and questioning the head HR lady that fired me. He called me today to get my side of the story.. Also asked me to email my resume to him. Lord willing the truth will be revealed!! I will update later when I find out more!

Early warning

By SamAaron502 - 29/10/2015 10:16 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to get ready for a "fun work retreat". After driving 2 hours to the site, I find that nobody's there. After about half an hour standing there freezing, I get an email from my boss, telling me that, "It's canceled due to bad weather." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 418

You deserved it 1 803

By tired of my job - 29/10/2015 08:33 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 138

You deserved it 1 388

By OutOfWork.OutOfTime - 28/10/2015 01:34 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 731

You deserved it 1 864

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 03:39 - United States

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 909

You deserved it 2 864

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 03:06 - United States - Tyler

Today, a customer at my coffee shop bitched me out because we don't sell cranberry juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 862

You deserved it 1 786

By idontmakethedresscode - 23/10/2015 08:17 - United States - Napa

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 996

You deserved it 6 447

Where on Earth do you work?

By Embarrassed ass. - 23/10/2015 04:05 - United States - Oregon City

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 921

You deserved it 3 950

By Oli974 - 22/10/2015 13:08 - France - N?ves-parmelan

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 331

You deserved it 2 793

By He Hates Me... - 21/10/2015 00:15 - United States - Ogden

Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 483

You deserved it 4 272

OK boomer moment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 13:39 - United Kingdom

Today, two women came into my place of work, complaining loudly that they couldn't afford a £3 course fee because they didn't have any money to spend on themselves. They were holding large Starbucks coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 512

You deserved it 1 474

By Chefinblack - 19/10/2015 22:13 - Australia

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 043

You deserved it 1 543

By PoorGal - 19/10/2015 18:04 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 061

You deserved it 5 809

Close, but no cigar

By RIPcareer - 18/10/2015 19:18 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 7 992

By Namaslayed - 16/10/2015 18:04 - India - Mumbai

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 075

You deserved it 17 136

By Anonymous - 15/10/2015 20:44 - United Kingdom - Hampton Hill

Today, I got turned down by my dream job because their rival company happens to be called my exact name. I'm now known as "The Spy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 101

You deserved it 1 531

By crb25453 - 15/10/2015 05:07 - United States - Stafford

Today, I drove to my college campus for my 8 a.m. class, parked, walked the mile and a half to my classroom, just to find out class had been cancelled. The prof didn't send an email because she couldn't remember her password. I paid $1200 to be taught by this woman, who has a doctorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 830

You deserved it 2 264

By mushroomless - 14/10/2015 05:40 - United States - Thayne

Today, I got yelled at in a grocery store by a customer who recognized me from the pizza place where I work. Apparently, I forgot mushrooms on her pizza earlier this afternoon. I had the day off, but thanks for the verbal lashing, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 817

You deserved it 1 893

On notice

By Anonymous - 12/10/2015 15:43 - United States - Corona

Today, I nearly got written up at work for missing an important memo. The memo was sent to everyone via the company Facebook group and not by our e-mail system. My manager could hardly believe people exist who have no Facebook account and have no intention of making one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 013

You deserved it 2 414

Great, thanks

By Anonymous - 12/10/2015 09:18 - United Kingdom

Today, a woman at work told me that her kid had puked into "a storage bin" in the office. It wasn't a storage bin, it was the outgoing mail tray on the side of my desk containing important contract documents that had to be posted by 5pm that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 421

You deserved it 1 708

By why - 12/10/2015 02:07 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 496

You deserved it 1 986

By Anonymous - 09/10/2015 16:58 - United States - Portland

Today, I went in for an interview for my first ever job. Just seconds after meeting the boss, I slipped on the linoleum floor. I was wearing a skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 110

You deserved it 2 308

By shitbucketsfilledwithshit - 08/10/2015 16:04 - United States - Spring

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 798

You deserved it 18 968

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 358

You deserved it 2 861

By CA - 08/10/2015 14:46 - Norway

Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 1 638

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 13:07 - United States - Niles

Today, I had my first open job interview, which is when a group of applicants are interviewed together. I also found out that despite being great at one-on-one interviews, I will panic and make myself look like a complete moron when I'm part of a group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 578

You deserved it 2 366

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I drove to the airport and parked in extended stay. As the plane was going down the runway, I tried to spot my car. I found it very quickly, as the car alarm was going off and all its lights were flashing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 503

You deserved it 461

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 23 144

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 644

You deserved it 36 042

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 731

You deserved it 7 703

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 542

You deserved it 5 364

Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 187