Jealousy

Be hotter

By Amanda Howard - 30/11/2020 02:02

Today, I saw that a girl on Twitter made $1.5 million just from OnlyFans and she's only 19. Meanwhile, I'm 21 and working two jobs just to afford school and pay my bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 191

Nice my ass!

By what’s going on here? - 03/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband’s coworker made lunch for him again complete with a “cute” note. I cook every day, but somehow this single woman finds it appropriate to cook and pack lunch for my husband. When I told him it needs to stop, he said I was being too jealous, and she’s just a nice lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 148

Sex work is real work

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 16:00

Today, my sister makes more money masturbating for anonymous perverts online than I do with an honest job, and she works less hours. She just bought a house for £160,000 without a mortgage; I rent a council house. She has a 20 Plate Land Rover; I have a Nissan micra FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 523

Are the straights OK?

By Nurse ratchet - 01/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my fiance lost his shit when I told him that I’ve decided to go to nursing school. He claims that all nurses are cheating whores and that if I become one we’re through. His source? The troglodytes that thrive in the bowels of the internet. All because one guy got his heart broken by a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 112

You should be dancing, yeah?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 456

Jerk

By GogglesGoggles - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 471

You deserved it 3 735

Take a break

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my brother and found him with his head up his wife’s shirt. Her explanation was he’d had a bad day so she was making it better. It really drove home how shit my marriage is. My wife hasn’t let me touch her in months and wouldn’t care if I’d had a bad day, even if I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 149

What happens in work…

By Martyb - 24/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend works at my husband’s job. He calls her his “work wife.” I had no idea they worked together, nor the fact that he calls her that. I used her phone to call my husband and she has him as “Work Hubby” with a heart emoji. The worst part? They insist nothing is going on between them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 164

Bitter

By RealFlexTho - 19/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 1 576

Never look at the DMs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went onto my fiance's phone because I was seeing if a message was important enough go wake him up for. It wasn't important, but when I unlocked his phone, Facebook was already open with his female best friend's chat. He pretty much admitted to her that he still has feelings and that she's a better mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 182

How could you?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 196

By ToInsecure4me - 10/11/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 061

You deserved it 6 452

Jump on me, I beg you

By RachelVanLannen9 - 12/07/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 265

You deserved it 10 732

What's going on here?

By Alybb33 - 05/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone and saw texts between him and his female friend. I confronted him about it and smashed his phone to pieces. He seems genuinely more upset that he can’t talk to her anymore rather than me being mad at him or his expensive smartphone being broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 1 316

Red flag

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 513

Bee in her bonnet

By Anonymous - 12/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife bumped into my ex-girlfriend from before we met. My wife said that she’s glad she's hotter than her, and we laughed. She has now mentioned this every hour since then, and now insists I list the reasons why she’s hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 114

The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 479

Better off

By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 04:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I took a walk without asking for permission. He thought guys would be hitting on me the entire walk, and that I chose to go alone to pick up numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 180

Misplaced fury

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 14:00

Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 68

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 133

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 645

You deserved it 2 897

My king (is a dick)

By Anonyme - 11/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband is so strict that even on the rare occasion I get to leave the house alone, I’m not allowed to speak to men in any capacity. I can’t even go through a line with a male cashier or male bank teller and I have pay at the pump in case a guy is working at the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 310

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 09/11/2021 05:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend added his ex on Facebook and Instagram, all within a few days. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 175

Frenemies 2

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 17:59

Today, my old frenemy told me she married my college boyfriend who made a fortune during the early days of Bitcoin. They have no kids, a massive house, retired when they were 45, and are moving to their retirement villa in Hawaii. I'm divorced and on benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 238

Bitchy family

By is that jealousy I detect ? - 24/02/2022 17:59

Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 131

Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?

By poopface82 - 06/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 143

Suspicious mind

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Youngsville

Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 26 033

Sister of the year

By not my fault you got knocked up - 09/08/2020 20:02

Today, my older sister threw an epic tantrum, demanding that my parents not pay for my 21st birthday trip. She insists it’s not fair for them to gift me a trip, since she didn’t get to celebrate her 21st. She didn’t get to celebrate because she was pregnant. Now my mom wants to reconsider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 202

Red flag

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I explained to my husband how much it bothers me when he constantly talks about one of his coworkers. He listened closely, never interrupted me, and seemed genuinely sorry afterwards. While he was consoling me and telling me that he'll stop, he called me by her name… three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 70

It's not that deep

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I really think my girlfriend is secretly bisexual and is cheating on me. Reading through her texts, she and her “best friend” are always calling each other beautiful, saying "I love you", and other weird stuff like that. Other members of their friend group do it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 558

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Cheating Babies Love Surprise Health Gross Poopoo peepee Weird Awkward Transportation Facebook Paranoia Jealousy Embarrassing Cute Sexism Painful Birthday Insects Vacation Miscellaneous Food Television TV shows Money Work Bosses Public freakouts Cops Fight

The Top

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 942

You deserved it 4 192

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 129

Random

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 768

You deserved it 3 019

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 158

You deserved it 2 353

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 243

You deserved it 56 202

Today, after Boris made his Monday night lockdown announcement, my husband announced that no way can he handle another lockdown stuck in the house with me and two teenagers, so he drove all night to our static caravan and insists he’s staying there alone until lockdown is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 202

Today, after a long day, I decided to study. I was so tired and anxious that I couldn't. When I actually started, a neighbour started making a hole in his wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 126

Today, my asswipe coworker yet again microwaved some disgusting fish dish at work, stinking out the break room for days. If we say anything, he runs to HR and complains of "racism" and "hostile work environment." God, I sound like a disgusting Trump-sucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 198