Annoying

God ain't paying my bills

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 18:00

Today, at my catering job, a woman left me a fake £10 note as a tip, which was actually one of those stupid invitations to attend her church, since "God is more valuable than cash." I have two kids and a wealthy ex refusing to pay support, so I’d have preferred no tip at all instead of this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 166

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 97

Highway to hell

By hnnhyoo - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxnard

Today, I got told that I was going to hell for turning down a man who was at least in his 60s. Even after I told him I was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 593

You deserved it 1 711

This boils my piss

By Boil Man - 01/12/2022 02:00

Today, I found out it's not normal to constantly develop boils in the same general areas. Some of those areas include: My neck, my abdomen, my forearm, my forehead, right next to my eyes, right below my armpit, right next to my genitals, and even directly on my penis. I want to rip my skin off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 122

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 20:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, like every day for the past two years, my aged mother has sat complaining all day loudly about relatives who call too little or too much, about another package being a few days late, or her laptop and TV not working properly. All while I'm trying to quietly work from home. I'm about ready to jump off a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 120

Joker brain

By RIP Kevin - 28/11/2022 18:00

Today, my mom, who is a huge Batman fan, is still weepy and talking non-stop about Kevin Conroy, as she has been for the past two weeks. After three days it was starting to get excessive; now I think I'm going mad like the Joker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 141

Let's go Brandon!

By SeriouslyWth - 28/11/2022 06:00

Today, I work as a butcher at my local supermarket. I was about to clear my area for the night to find that some assbucket has put “Fuck Joe Biden” stickers all over the frozen turkeys. I had to remove them. Even when I did, there was still sticker residue on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 193

Love-hate sibling relationship

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 06:00

Today, my obese sibling snored loudly during a TV show. I swear, if it's not anime or a violent film he likes, he just goes to sleep. But then he's up all night, eating and playing video games while I'm trying to sleep. I can't keep working like an exhausted zombie all the time but I get in trouble when if I say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 184

Classic non-ironical Ironic

By Karen - 21/11/2022 18:00

Today, I had a shift at my job at a grocery store that was full of rude and impatient customers. Someone dropped a bottle of wine and it shattered next to me. I found a half-eaten packet of sushi behind some magazines. The scale on another register broke. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette played on the store radio at the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 125

Stay out of the kitchen

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 00:00

Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 132

TFIF, eh?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 18:00

Today, I was going to spend my weekend celebrating my first time not being sick since Labor Day. I woke up with a sinus infection instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 132

You know who you are

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 04:00

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 368

You must obey

By Anonymous - 16/11/2022 14:00

Today, my company decided to give me a second role, since I’m "the best performing candidate.” When I turned it down, they asked me to work half-time instead. I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 140

Why so serious?

By Cynic - 15/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I've come to accept that no matter how black-and-white an issue is, someone will always side with the obviously wrong point of view and take themselves 100% seriously while doing it. I don't want to live on this planet anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 442

I don't belong here

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 993

You deserved it 8 902

How bad can it be?

By SEND HELP - 12/11/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I, an introvert who prefers to be in the comfort of my own home, now prefer to stay out of the house as much as possible, because the obnoxious behavioral issues of my disobedient pets are making my life miserable. Is this how you become a workaholic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 1 064

Time for tinnitus

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 18:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, my roommate shouted his entire part of the conversation at the dinner table. He refuses to get his hearing checked, nor lower his voice, so now my ears hurt for the rest of the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 111

Package deal

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 00:00 - France

Today, my spoiled step-daughter had extra chores to do for breaking the rules. She called my wife at work, complained about the chores, then my wife called me and said that she didn't want to deal with the drama. It ended with, "Make her do something else!" WTF! She chooses her own punishment! I hate this kid, seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 262

Touch me I'm sick

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 22:00 - Germany

Today, I went to the doctor with some serious physical symptoms that amount to being effectively disabled. She didn’t even ask any questions or examine me before telling me it was all purely psychological. I barely managed to convince her to at least order some blood tests, as a formality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 138

Let me sleep!

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 00:00

Today, I'm freshly unemployed and so exhausted from my former job that I can actually really use the rest. Too bad that, for reasons ranging from cat noises to period emergencies, I have woken up at 6 a.m. for 4 days in a row now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 183

Let me go home, for a start

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 10:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 125

Casual ableism

By CrippledFatty - 01/11/2022 01:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was yet again chastised for using a wheelchair, since, "Obesity isn't a disability." I'm 46 with lipedema, and lost my ability to walk 13 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 170

Nice vacation

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 20:00 - United States - Wisconsin Dells

Today, my obnoxious bully of an aunt forced me to walk a mile to the store in the rain to buy her a lottery ticket. When I got back, she thanked me by scream-singing “When Somebody Loves You” in the most ear-rapingly atrocious caterwaul imaginable. We’re staying with her for the rest of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 163

Passing the buck

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 00:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today my boss gathered us to discuss about empowerment, accountability and Objectives and Key Results. My colleague set her OKRs as, “to empower others to do my work for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 133

Snail mail

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 14:00 - Germany

Today, I finished the cumbersome process to sign up and log in to my health insurance’s online office so I could reach them by email. As a reply, I got an email telling me I have a message on the website, which - after having logged in - informed me that they have replied to my inquiry. By letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 103

The topic at hand

By Frustrated Student - 30/10/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a group project with three other people who spent the whole period trying to figure out how old the teacher was. Good news: They came to the conclusion that he must be around 35-40 years old. Bad news: we are gonna have a hard time finishing this project if they don't pull their weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 106

Personal preference or Fatphobia? You decide!

By IHateFakePpl - 29/10/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that losing 110 lbs causes people to start kissing your ass. The same people who told me to go fuck myself and didn’t give me the time of day before are now worshipping the ground I walk on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 310

We met a lot later!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Warsaw

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 396

You deserved it 53 074

Hole in the head

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 16:00

Today, I had to get a nail removed from my head after a nail gun incident. The nail was actually touching my brain but didn’t cause damage. Of course being a builder with typical builder mates, the joke now is that I’m so brainless even getting shot in the head doesn’t make a difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 180

Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 02:00

Today, I've come to the realization that my girlfriend's mini Australian Shepherd dictates everything, from a hug and kiss goodbye, to when we try to have sex. The worst part is she won't do anything about it. Looks like another night with the damn dog between us… FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 298

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The Top

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 222

You deserved it 7 062

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 572

You deserved it 2 894

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 189

You deserved it 5 953

Today, my sister tackled me by the leg in a game of frisbee. I now know the unique sensation of a knee dislocating. It is not a beautiful one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 434

You deserved it 293

Today, I couldn't get out of bed due to severe morning sickness. I have to lay still and I can only hold in some tiny crackers. It's the second day of our two-week holiday in Turkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 316

Today, because I forgot to fill out a form, I accidentally held up payroll for the whole organization. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 513