The Top

Basically, he's had hamsters that have dies before, and we always gave them a funeral... so I didn't want to bury him in a plastic tube so my husband gave me the job of removing the hamster....

Landlords gonna landlord

By goingtobeevicted - 25/04/2013 06:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 930

You deserved it 48 245

Sitter

By fired - 13/05/2012 06:26 - United States - Portland

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 683

You deserved it 47 046

Something for nothing

By Anonymous - 05/08/2019 02:02

Today, I pointed out to my manager that I haven’t been paid for my first month's work. They told me my paperwork had been misplaced, so I hadn’t actually been hired yet. So I just worked a full month for free. Oh, and apparently they’re not legally obligated to pay me, so I’m not getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 500

You deserved it 193

Nice timing

By Mee - 10/09/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 592

You deserved it 13 418

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 18:59 - United States

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 1 586

Seriously?

By chawlay - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 472

You deserved it 4 720

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 023

You deserved it 5 714

Make your mind up

By Jason Brazil - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 566

By mathesonn - 29/05/2014 23:32 - United States - Auburn

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 596

You deserved it 7 296

Kinder stranger

By Me. - 11/04/2013 00:45 - United States - Ramona

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 492

You deserved it 12 731

By Squeezebox - 30/08/2017 16:00 - United States - Missoula

Today, my son ruined our fairly new 60 inch smart TV by giving it a bath with his squirt gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 260

You deserved it 590

By SofiMarti - 24/08/2019 00:02 - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, my mom was named principal of the school I go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 240

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 300

You deserved it 37 778

By hatelittleboys - 15/10/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 983

You deserved it 64 419

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 22:11 - Sweden - Lidk?ping

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 407

You deserved it 13 716

By Anonymous - 05/04/2013 16:26 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 016

You deserved it 3 036

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 120

You deserved it 39 788

By gassymomma - 28/04/2014 16:58 - United States - Sparta

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 265

You deserved it 9 370

gassymomma tells us more.

gassymomma 4

Tuesday 29 April 2014 7:18

Op here, I really didn't expect this to get posted. I'm 8 months pregnant so gas has become part of my daily life. I don't normal mind admitting to it but he was so worried about making sure I was safe I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just gas that scared him. Later that day while we were just sitting on the couch I farted again and he made a joke that there must be a whale at the window.

By Were do we go... - 15/04/2012 04:24 - United States

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 226

You deserved it 6 052