The Top

This is pretty good. XD I was actually visiting mom, dad, and bros for the first time after moving away. It was not pleasANT at all, but thankfully I can laugh about it now. ?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 15:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 580

You deserved it 11 829

By StuckInCollegeLimbo - 31/08/2017 04:30 - United States - Riverside

Today, after going through months of registration and orientation to transfer to a university, I was told that my application was denied because I didn't meet the minimum credit requirement. You couldn't tell me this before? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 662

You deserved it 356

By Sam - 24/06/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 958

You deserved it 4 905

By ktmla - 11/05/2014 04:13 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 122

You deserved it 3 668

ktmla tells us more.

ktmla 14

Monday 12 May 2014 20:12

OP here. To those of you who referred to me as "he"... I'm a girl :) I work at Hollister and the jacket is actually one my friend from Georgia gave me. It's his school jacket so I'm not sure why she wanted it. #1 Damn straight. #2 We don't but I'll make sure to put it in the suggestion box :-) #3 I was worried she would try to jack it (get it)... #18 I would've assumed the same thing had it not be from a school in a different state. #24 It's one of those things where it's only nice to me for sentimental reasons haha. Thanks though. #28 Although that is often true my manager is really cool so after the whole thing was over I was able to explain exactly what happened and I didn't get in trouble. #44 Thank you for your novel :-) you rock. #48/71 (and anyone's else who wanted clarification): I know your comment was buried but actually we do have that exact rule. We aren't allowed to have any personal items visible except for the clothes/accessories we are wearing (which are required to be from the store as part of the dress code). My jacket was actually behind the counter in a place not visible to customers and had she not been walking behind the counter (against the rules btw) to get to the dressing rooms she never would've seen it. I just couldn't include that in the 300 character fml. #64 I'm guessing that was a joke :) But if you were serious then if you are ever working in retail don't do anything like that unless you want to get fired. #67 More than you know. #74 Nah, she was just a bitch. #73 By fill pup I'm assuming you mean follow up. But you're right some people can really be jerks sometimes! #88 Exactly. #66 Obviously (not a) Product #83 The only place I told her to go was hell.. Wow, just kidding, that was dramatic of me. But no it was a school jacket. #84 I'm sorry that sucks.. Sorry this is so long I wanted to try to reply to as many people as possible. -Katie

By mr. machine - 31/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, my 19-year-old daughter got a haircut. When I asked her if she tipped the hairdresser, she looked at me in horror and asked, "You’re supposed to tip hairdressers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 708