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By oops - 22/08/2014 14:35 - Australia - Wembley

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 535

You deserved it 50 774

By Anonymous - 27/06/2012 20:02 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 922

You deserved it 5 351

By brunette16 - 18/12/2016 08:52 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident with a guy who didn't have a front license plate. Too bad it was a hit-and-run, as the cop said the footage was good enough that if he had had a license there, we could have gotten him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 945

You deserved it 410

brunette16 tells us more.

brunette16 3

Saturday 24 December 2016 20:45

Hey guys OP here! Unfortunately I live in Texas and license plates are required on both front and back of vehicles :( He was driving illegally hence why he hit me and took off, the cop also said he was texting since I was parked whenever he hit my car, the trunk is dented in from the back and top is caved since he was driving a lifted SUV and I can no longer open it without causing further damage Thanks for the concern, i am fine ?

By congrats grad - 08/06/2013 05:12 - United States - Panorama City

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 044

You deserved it 3 412

By ifailsobadly - 13/08/2011 20:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 476

You deserved it 47 633

ifailsobadly tells us more.

ifailsobadly 18

Monday 2 January 2012 2:35

Wow. You're completely right :3 And I'm reading these months later, and most of the comments are 'Get a GF', 'get laid' or 'go outside'. Well, I don't understand how having a girlfriend would make me less upset, I'm under the legal age of sex so sorry guys, and go outside? Do people think I'm an aggrophobe? Of course I go out, I ubilt this in someo fo my spare time! :D

By UnSupported - 14/08/2014 15:28 - United States - North Kingstown

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 3 920

Lost in translation

By tubby - 21/06/2012 20:28 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 384

You deserved it 3 644

Kinda is

By Anonymous - 17/07/2023 18:00

Today, my blind date got up and left the table before our food had even arrived, saying he wasn't going to bother with me. Apparently bringing my own bottle of ranch for dipping is "weird" now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 2 841

By jackie89 - 10/08/2014 19:26 - United Kingdom - Redruth

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 634

You deserved it 7 469

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 30 406

Sorry not sorry

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 00:01

Today, I miscarried my baby. My teen sister, who has autism and can’t handle being around children, congratulated me on getting my freedom back, and also on miscarrying before I got fat like our mom. I can’t even yell at her because she wouldn’t understand why I’m upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 170

By kitty shah - 17/06/2012 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 234

You deserved it 27 515

Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 476

You deserved it 27 392

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 06:00 - United States - Grove City

Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 13:07 - United States - Niles

Today, I had my first open job interview, which is when a group of applicants are interviewed together. I also found out that despite being great at one-on-one interviews, I will panic and make myself look like a complete moron when I'm part of a group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 583

You deserved it 2 367

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 21:57 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 220

By Anonymous - 03/12/2016 09:54 - United States

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 980

You deserved it 668

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 1 517

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 01:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 397

You deserved it 4 767

You gotta be kidding me?

By mammasboy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Springfield

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 416

You deserved it 5 461

By Terra - 19/11/2016 05:14

Today, I logged on Facebook and saw my friend who'd been engaged, then broke the engagement, then got back together announce their new wedding date: three days before my wedding. She also sent me a message asking if I'd move my date. We've been planning our wedding for two years. She got engaged six months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 546

You deserved it 810

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 19:59 - Canada

Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 623

You deserved it 4 895

By Kurliez408 - 06/06/2017 15:29

Today, I finally managed to get my ghostly white legs tanned. It was during a yoga lesson, and I was wearing my knee braces. Half of my legs are now a shade darker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 963

You deserved it 710

Kurliez408 tells us more.

Kurliez408 32

Saturday 3 June 2017 0:23

OP hear! So to clear up- It usually takes me forever to tan, and this was a yoga lesson which my teacher randomly decided to hold outside (I also got sunburned). Due to my f*cked up knees I wear braces that go from above my knees to below them. My tan line starts half way down my shin! I was also wearing an X back tanktop so clearly this was not the summer tan I longed for hahaha. Maybe it will be a new trend! Who knows in these crazy times!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 05:25 - United States - Astoria

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 234

You deserved it 3 503