The Top

I was demoted from part time to causal part time, which requires that I work less then 20 hours a week. And I only get commission if I go over my goal.

By no_service - 19/06/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 643

You deserved it 7 025

Practical

By Anonymous - 14/10/2020 14:01 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my 27-year-old boyfriend told me he hides our condoms in his Poké Ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 525

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 10:02 - United States

Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 225

You deserved it 11 290

By random1456 - 13/06/2019 18:00

Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 243

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 19/11/2014 17:40 - Canada - Windsor

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 258

You deserved it 3 727

Thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 17:03 - United States - Kenton

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 235

Skincare

By frustrated - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Gosport

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 144

You deserved it 5 057

By DOGSNACHER - 29/12/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 2 541

By First World Problems - 08/01/2016 14:34 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 481

You deserved it 1 775

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was messaging a nice guy. He sent a picture of himself and asked for one back. Shortly after my picture sent, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 164

You deserved it 1 368

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 3 011

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 494

You deserved it 32 247

Today, I was awoken at 1:30 a.m. by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 550

You deserved it 3 376

Today, I recently broke up with a girl I care greatly about to spare her having to deal with my mental health issues. Facebook keeps updating me with everything she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 872

Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 135