By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00
The Top
What a wuss
By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 08:01
By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 15:46 - Belgium
By Anonymous - 07/05/2012 23:52 - United States - Yucaipa
By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 06:59 - United States
By anonymous4991 - 04/05/2012 00:39 - United States - Denver
anonymous4991 tells us more.
Cooked
By That Person - 14/09/2016 00:11 - Australia - Coolbellup
Who run the world? Cats!
By tease_ftx - 31/08/2017 13:00
By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 20:43 - United States - Irmo
Get back to work
By notbrowsingnow - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States
By engaged - 29/03/2009 14:03 - United States
Don't listen to him
By CaoNiMa - 26/03/2009 15:42 - China
By Truan - 25/03/2009 21:04 - United States
Truan_fml tells us more.
OP here I'll clear a few things. First off, no I'm not that dude who got a comment from his girl's grandfather. Although that would be great, it's not me. Second...as for our inability to do it...well I didn't have a clear view. and I couldn't get a good grip on the ball because I fingerbanged her prior, so my hand was...well you get it her hands were lubed up, so same problem. I couldn't see them well enough to unhook them, and she couldn't do a damn thing with them either. It took about 5 minutes before we decided to call anyone. My brother and dad weren't in the house, and obviously if I called a friend, my mom would have to show them in I got the tongue ring for my 18th birthday (2 weeks ago), so obviously moving out isn't going to be an instant thing. Oh and my mom's a nurse, so she just looked at us both staring at her awkwardly, laughed, and undid it. We haven't spoke about it since. Honestly, I think it's pretty funny. What's really funny is those of you idiots who don't understand the exhilaration of a piercing.
By lilben - 10/06/2011 08:09 - United States
Thanks, I guess…
By omfgmaya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Denmark
Thanks for the help
By PineapplePizza - 15/08/2016 07:41 - United States - Irwin
By guy - 15/03/2013 05:31 - Canada - Port Coquitlam
By meyo555 - 02/06/2011 09:45 - United States
By M3DO - 03/08/2016 01:04
By oops - 27/03/2014 23:10 - United States - San Francisco
Smoke signals
By rejected - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States
By chocochoco - 24/03/2014 03:40 - United States - Auburn
By Anonymous - 05/03/2013 05:25
By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 22:35 - Australia
Bad data
By maida - 02/06/2021 04:01
So… good news, or…?
By daddy-o - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
Does she really love me?
By fml9124 - 07/11/2019 20:00
Multitasking
By misc - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States
Good boy
By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States
Keywords
From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.