Sleeping In
By FML Videos - 03/12/2018 00:00 - United States - New York
By FML Videos - 03/12/2018 00:00 - United States - New York
By thanksma - 29/01/2017 14:00 - United States - Stilwell
By Anonymous - 05/11/2014 19:52 - Australia - Hawthorn
By StepFather - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Worth
By vmml97 - 01/08/2013 04:32 - United States - Erie
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake
By Anonymous - 27/12/2015 00:38 - Brazil - Itaja?
By mishyb - 28/07/2013 04:28 - United States - Englewood
By doubleds - 03/06/2009 19:39 - Canada
By Anonymous - 07/01/2019 14:00
By cestquoicebordel?? - 14/08/2012 22:50 - France
By blenderbookf - 25/11/2010 18:33 - United States
By lilly1105 - 15/07/2013 13:19 - United States - Clemson
Y'all made me laugh and rethink my **** watching, thanks!
By Anonymous - 13/09/2011 06:05 - United States
By Lucas - 14/12/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom
By Hailey - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 03/12/2015 09:47 - United States - Tualatin
By joleezad5 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Nixa
By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 19:51 - South Africa
By fmlcops - 22/05/2009 04:17 - United States
By Brokedogowner - 17/03/2017 16:46
This one's mine! Kind of weird to see it here. Anyway, the vet did several (pricey) tests to find out why my dog drinks so much and pees everywhere. The title pretty much nailed it, he's an asshole.
By wellfuckyoutoo - 24/11/2015 17:45 - United States - Philadelphia
By anonyme - 28/06/2013 00:13 - France
By Bob - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By FennFoxx - 21/03/2017 12:00 - United States - Cheraw
By alone - 20/04/2019 02:00
By secretdoll - 09/11/2010 07:51 - United States
By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 06:57 - United States - Baxter
By SayItToMyFace - 11/11/2015 17:50 - United Kingdom
By VictoriaLeavitt - 25/06/2013 00:35 - United States - Las Vegas
OP here. I made an account so I could follow up. For those of you doubting my parenting: in my household, no banshee-like deed goes unpunished. Yes, this was a school suspension, for those unsure, and it was three weeks, which is pretty reasonable. Sadly, this is a continuation jr. high school for kids who've been permanently expelled (I'm surprised no one asked why she's still in school during the summer), where banshee-like behaviors such as this are not rare.
Keywords
Hey. Firstly, I am Canadian, and in Ontario, you can carry a folding (not spring assisted or butterfly) knife, with a blade under 3 or 4 inches in length. You can look up the rules if you want. So yes, I was carrying it legally. And why do I carry a knife? Because I use it as a tool. It's not a weapon. I was in the forest, it was a tool. He said he needed it as a tool. I believed him, it's a logical claim. I can understand why it would seem like a ridiculously dumb idea to let someone borrow your knife, but you need to understand two things: I live in a small, Canadian town. I literally can not remember the last time anyone was attacked here, so I did not fear attack. Also, we were deep in the forest, where there are many reasons that one needs a knife. So, I let him use the knife because he said he needed it. I know it's kind of stupid, and I'm never lending out a knife again, but oh well. He seemed like a nice, polite, well put together guy. He didn't look like your typical mugger, so that's why I lent it out. He had obviously seen the clip of the knife, as I carry it clipped to the inside of my pocket, as that's the law where I live. And people saying "a woman in a forest, alone, lending out her knife to weird men.... bad idea", I agree. But, I'm not the type of woman you want to fight with, and I'm not some delicate woman alone and afraid. I can hold my own. But, I do have too much faith in humanity, and I trust people too much. As for people saying "track down your phone", I did. I live close to the forest, so I just ran back home and tracked the phone down. I had it back within a few hours. I lost the $70 in my wallet, but that's not much. He was a stupid thief. The police took care of him. And, by the way, I never got my knife back :( I'm gonna go buy another knife, and I'm never gonna lend it out again. In the end, it was scary (I've never been mugged before) and I lost $100 ($70 cash from my wallet, and the knife was worth $30 ish), but I've learned a lesson. Thanks, everyone. And yes, I know I deserved it!