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By ginger_trelf - 05/09/2016 23:45 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I found out that my grandfather is in the hospital. This would be a little easier to process if I hadn't found out through my sister's Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 851

You deserved it 898

ginger_trelf tells us more.

ginger_trelf 6

Wednesday 7 September 2016 12:10

OP here. Thanks for all the support and funny comments. To clear a few things up, my sister didn't post to Instagram from the hospital, she just took a selfie at home and complained about the things that aren't going well in her life. She had no idea that I didn't know about my grandpa and assumed that our mom had told me. Since my sister and I both live at home, our family tells my mom about any big family news with the assumption that she will pass it on. Right now, my mom is in a really busy period at work and I'm an American exchange student in New Zealand, so I'm sure she wasn't purposely hiding anything from me. Since I go away for college, she sometimes forgets to tell me things anyway.

By aabadaba - 01/04/2013 05:23 - United States - La Mirada

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 517

You deserved it 4 667

Sex ed

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 00:34 - United States

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 446

You deserved it 6 888

By PeedMaPants - 16/08/2016 00:04 - United Kingdom - Meopham

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 389

You deserved it 2 371

By This sucks - 11/10/2017 04:30

Today, in the toilet at work, I found that the scissors on my multitool are quite good at getting rid of a shit-stained shirttail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 643

You deserved it 631

By that girl - 08/04/2014 23:06 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 293

You deserved it 12 680

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 208

You deserved it 91 626

Happy Feet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2019 00:01

Today, an old lady rear ended my car the light. Her explanation was, "It's a new car, and when I take my foot off the break, it just rolls forward all on its own! I don't know what's wrong with it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 110

By lizim353 - 22/07/2016 03:40 - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I had to make a choice between being kept awake by the heat, or the cackling seagulls outside my window. I still don't know what's worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 739

You deserved it 1 296

lizim353 tells us more.

lizim353 3

Saturday 23 July 2016 2:06

OP here. You're exactly right, it's like a humid and muggy kind of heat, even in Scotland... :')

Harsh

By mugs - 12/03/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 697

You deserved it 24 017

Freedom of speech

By Powerless111 - 15/10/2019 20:00

Today, I got yelled at for 30 minutes while on a date for using the word "bitch." I used it to describe my friend's wife, who will also yell at you for 30 minutes for using a word she doesn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 1 955

Lingo

By Ethan - 09/03/2009 13:35 - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 191

You deserved it 95 481

By serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 578

You deserved it 19 301

By anonymous - 07/07/2016 15:24 - United States

Today, my friends woke me up on my birthday by spraying me with silly string. I have a job interview and it won't come out of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 821

You deserved it 1 040

Reasoning

By okay then - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Avon Lake

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 701

You deserved it 3 620

Emotional lift

By ENZ - 03/11/2019 23:30

Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 390

You deserved it 185

Perfect contraceptive

By slapstick1982 - 22/11/2019 01:00

Today, I realized that my wife is on her 3rd month using an IUD. The side effect is nonstop bleeding. I haven't had sex with her since she got it. I'd say this contraceptive is working perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 319

By chinaski7628 - 15/02/2014 07:11 - United States - Glendale

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 599

You deserved it 5 539

chinaski7628 tells us more.

chinaski7628 32

Sunday 16 February 2014 18:53

Op here. As most teachers will tell you, kids cheat all the time and badly, too. I usually write my own tests and worksheets and only write up answer keys when I need them, which does cut down on cheating. I didn't even realize I had a teacher's edition of the textbook until I came across those answers. On that day I had a family emergency and figured book work practice for an upcoming test would be fine. I did talk to the students involved and their parents. Unfortunately, several of the kids involved are habitual truants and failing my class anyway, so suspension, detention and a zero on the assignment don't mean much to them. A few of the kids involved, though they struggle, do come to class everyday and try, they just made a stupid decision. After a long (and embarrassing for them) talk with me, they (hopefully) have learned a lesson about cheating and blindly following others.