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I didn't expect to be published! By the way, the cat is the one in my photo. To be fair, the vet asked me if I would like to leave while he did it and I accepted. This was also due to the fact that the cat kept trying to climb into my hood because I'm familiar to her. It was just a routine checkup, she was perfectly fine. I don't blame you for thinking I deserved it, I don't deny it was cruel of me to laugh at her. But she just made the most surprised and indignant face and she was running away from him. She actually did hop off the table and try to escape!

WTF are you doing in here?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 015

You deserved it 5 723

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 476

You deserved it 15 031

Wild Monopoly game tactics

By I hate that game - 23/11/2013 16:11 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 554

You deserved it 4 895

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 17:27 - Austria - Vienna

Today, a drunk woman kicked me in the balls for not buying her another drink. That's the closest thing to intimacy I've ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 335

You deserved it 1 690

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 05:49 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 763

You deserved it 2 062

People of Walmart

By FayBerry88 - 04/07/2020 08:08

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 501

That had to hurt

By SnappyMcOuches - 19/09/2018 14:00

Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 702

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 25/09/2018 12:00

Today, a guy asked for hot fries at the drive thru. After receiving the fries, he threw them at the drive thru window, complained that they were too hot, and asked for the manager for burning his mouth. I am the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 070

You deserved it 157

Loosey-goosey

By knickersdontfit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 394

You deserved it 8 265

By chloe_zjk - 18/02/2015 05:22 - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 12 243

By jesuscrip - 18/02/2016 06:08 - United States - Orrville

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 1 467

By DaveAlmighty - 02/07/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 248

You deserved it 12 339

Gangsta

By Wolf - 07/11/2018 15:30

Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 150

You deserved it 157

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 3 293

By CaptainKidd - 30/01/2016 02:34 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so I loaded up my car, swung by the bank to take out my rent money, and stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I came outside, my car was gone, along with all my clothes and rent money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 993

You deserved it 2 947

CaptainKidd_fml tells us more.

CaptainKidd_fml 12

Saturday 30 January 2016 19:51

No, I didn't leave the car running. I do leave an extra set I keep hidden in the car so in the two minutes I was gone, I guess they got lucky. To clear up some confusion, I'm a college student and have to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't get paid nearly enough at my job, and as soon as I get paid, that money goes to rent, leaving just enough for food. For laundry, I save up the change I get from work until I have enough to do a load.

By iTried - 28/01/2016 12:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 592

You deserved it 8 801