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By swimmonster81 - 25/12/2015 21:22

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 874

You deserved it 1 591

By GarnetShaddow - 27/02/2017 12:20 - United States - Boulder

Today, my boyfriend decided he preferred his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 536

You deserved it 757

Garnetshaddow tells us more.

Garnetshaddow 30

Sunday 26 February 2017 23:21

I am the OP, and very shocked this actually got published! (Though I HATE the GIF they chose... Can that get removed?) Basically, it's a shit situation all around. He knows her from his public speaking job, and she used to live out of state. He met me locally. He was going to tell her they were done the same day she told him she was job hunting in our state and moving to be closer. I did know pretty much the whole time. He kept setting deadlines on making a decision. Pretty much all of them were tied to whether or not she was actually moving here. This went on months. I finally told him he had to pick one girl to date... and he decided because she made the commitment of moving here from another state, she deserved at least a chance. Of course, he wants to be friends, wants to hang out, understands I won't wait but if things don't work out... I haven't heard from him since. I probably deserve it. I still feel like it's an FML.

By junko - 18/11/2015 01:44 - United States - Tyngsboro

Today, my parents found out that my younger brother has been smoking pot. As his punishment, he can't be home alone anymore. And apparently, I'm now his full-time babysitter since I "don't have a life anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 989

You deserved it 2 050

junko_fml tells us more.

junko_fml 21

Saturday 9 January 2016 1:17

Hey, everyone! OP here. After this happened, my parents enforced the rule for barely a day before they realized how stupid it was and how impossible it is to enforce. My brother (who is 18, by the way) ended up finding loopholes in every punishment that they gave him afterwards, while I lived my life of freedom. Thanks for your advice, guys; I enjoyed reading your comments!

Dirty minds

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 12:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 097

You deserved it 8 446

By Kbug - 28/04/2019 00:00

Today, while my man of almost 5 years was playing a video game with his friends, during one of the conversations they were having, one of his childhood friends asked “What do you see in her?” He replied, “I don't know, it’s more of an entrapment type of thing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 510

You deserved it 338

By Potato_Lord - 12/11/2015 04:11 - United States - Madison

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 803

You deserved it 1 481

By imgonnadie - 07/09/2014 15:11 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 654

You deserved it 4 391

By Iknowhowtoraisethem - 26/12/2016 01:06 - United States - Woodridge

Today, my 25-year-old daughter, who normally doesn't drive, was out using the family car when she came back annoyed and emotional over the "stupid" cars heating being broken. She said no matter how high she turned it up it was still blowing cold air. I checked and it was set to A/C the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 416

You deserved it 961

By GildedByVices - 24/12/2016 08:12 - Australia

Today, on Xmas Eve, my eight-year-old and ten-year-old children and I sat down to watch 'Mr. Stink', an Xmas film about a scruffy, stinky tramp. When he first appeared on screen my children both exclaimed in unison, "He looks like you, dad!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 403

You deserved it 741

Rush

By Embarassedd - 26/11/2009 05:01 - Canada

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 837

You deserved it 4 467

By Anonymous - 31/10/2015 00:47 - United States - Pensacola

Today, my parents searched my younger sister's phone because she had been acting suspiciously. I asked my mom if she was going to search mine too. She laughed and said, "Sweetie, your phone is probably even duller than mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 843

You deserved it 2 871

By cpizzle12 - 29/10/2015 10:20 - United States - Manassas

Today, I got fired from my job a week before I started my new position in a different area of the company. My supervisor found out I was going to be making more money than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 043

You deserved it 1 606

cpizzle12 tells us more.

cpizzle12 7

Wednesday 18 November 2015 7:37

UPDATE: I talked with VP of sales s( he was going to be my new boss) .. And apparently something much more is going on that involves HR. HR drama going on I guess.. He will be further investigating this week and questioning the head HR lady that fired me. He called me today to get my side of the story.. Also asked me to email my resume to him. Lord willing the truth will be revealed!! I will update later when I find out more!

By Moron with reflexes - 29/05/2019 06:03

Today, I thought I felt a spider crawling by my eye. Having a huge fear of spiders, like an idiot, I lamped myself in square in the eye. I now have a partial black eye because of what turned out to be a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 998

By __shirtless__ - 10/12/2016 03:09

Today I found out that paying $40 for next-day shipping doesn't ensure that you'll receive the item the next day or even the next week. I assumed it was my fault for ordering too late into the holiday season. Turns out they never shipped it. When I finally received it 10 days late, it was the wrong item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 640

You deserved it 751

LEAVE ME ALONE

By sleepless - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 264

The trap

By fuckendog - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 293

You deserved it 56 262

By my kids smell bad - 25/06/2019 06:48

Today, I got into a screaming match with the mother of my kids. I told her they need to bathe more often. According to her, anything more than once a week is excessive and bad for their skin. My kids play sports and smell like puppies from the pound. She doesn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 461

You deserved it 220

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 452

You deserved it 79 696

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 14:29 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 059

You deserved it 46 668

By brob56 - 23/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 854

You deserved it 82 791

By itsme - 08/07/2019 04:00

Today, we got a letter regarding my sister's college career and an appointment she was required to go to. This seems fitting, since she's a senior in high school, or at least she would be if she hadn't passed away a little over a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 124

By StickyPickles - 17/09/2015 02:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried the 'Casual Encounter' page on Craigslist. Three hours, a bunch of spam, and a 30-minute call to some company, speaking to some lady I could barely understand to recover the $40 somehow charged to my card. I think I might want to try other ways to meet people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 441

You deserved it 9 675

Balls

By NotASportsGuy - 06/09/2015 12:46 - United States - Long Island City

Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked me is what football team I like. When I told them I didn't really like sports, they immediately stopped talking to me and haven't since, even when I ask them work-related questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 813

You deserved it 2 783

By Anonymous - 22/10/2016 04:32

Today, my boyfriend of nearly six months broke up with me. Over text. In a group chat. With the new girl he wanted to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 540

You deserved it 748

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 13:56 - India - Chennai

Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 289

You deserved it 26 835

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 816

You deserved it 41 346

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 12:43 - United Kingdom - Bexley

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 677

You deserved it 2 449

By Anonymous - 03/10/2016 23:50 - United States - Westerville

Today, the family computer kept overheating. My four-year-old son thought the solution was to pour a nice, cold cup of water on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 048

You deserved it 1 251

By I'm an idiot - 28/08/2017 12:16 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, after weeks of getting 4 auto-emails per day begging me to review my university's roommate matching service, I finally got one with a reply address. I sent an irate note and then realized I'd emailed the housing director. My housing contract is still pending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 3 594

thebobert67 tells us more.

thebobert67 7

Saturday 26 August 2017 10:41

OP here. The emails had no unsubscribe button. They wanted me to write to some manager about my experience on the site and it would usually have empty parentheses () where the email address should have been.

By Anonymous - 29/06/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 048

You deserved it 7 387