The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Happy new year, huh?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, my husband of 12 years announced that he wants a divorce and that he hadn't liked me in YEARS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 145

Free money

By Nick - 09/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 171

That dang Ozempic

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 03:00 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 93

Bathroom police

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 22:00 - The Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, it was 5th period and I went to the year 11 bathroom. I came out, and there was a crowd of people outside. Someone said, "Um, that's the boys bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 224

Classic

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 540

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 13/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat knocked the TV remote behind our heavy couch. I reached for it, got stuck halfway underneath, and had to call my roommate for help. She found me face-down on the carpet wearing one sock and asked if this was “an emergency or drugs?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 111

Who are you calling random?!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 12:00 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I failed a calculus exam because I simply was too burnt out to study for it. I have not wanted to even look at a math problem since the beginning of the year, and I procrastinate all day instead of doing work, and it leads me here, typing at 2 a.m. to random strangers while having to get up tomorrow at 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 180

How to dismantle flat pack furniture

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 443

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was trying pillow talk with this guy I met at the bar that night. I’m thinking he’s going to say something cute, but he told me, "One time, I was bored, so I went to a liquor store and robbed an Asian man and put his bag over his head." I just wanted to pillow talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 134

Insurance is a scam

By leogs23 - 27/02/2021 16:58

Today, my fiancée wrecked my car so I had to use my other car to pick her up. Ten minutes after I did, my other car broke down in the middle of the road and I had to get it towed. My insurance covers none of these incidents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 227

Loyalty

By No way - 10/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I discovered my cat prefers my neighbour. I know this because she posted pictures of him on Instagram, captioned "My new baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 195

Surveillance 24/7

By Traveller - 18/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my smart fridge sent me a notification saying the door had been left open. I ran downstairs, and discovered I had apparently connected the fridge to my phone correctly. For some reason, it was warning me about the open door in the hotel room three cities away that I'd stayed in last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 254

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 405

Scarcity

By Niniva - 01/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Dahlonega

Today, after several hours, two pharmacies, several bus rides, $20, and many phone calls, I returned home. Guess who still doesn't have a glucose monitor? Yup, I have to go do this all again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 106

Nasty

By What an asshole - 14/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, as I crawled into bed and hid under my blanket, I was hit with a very strong and familiar smell. The smell of piss. My cat had peed all over my only blanket. Guess I'll sleep under the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 160

Messy bitch

By Clean up - 22/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 102

Crop me out

By Anonymous - 11/08/2023 10:00

Today, after wasting $60 and 3 hours of my time getting my hair dyed to get rid of the ugly orange tint it had from the last time I got my hair dyed, it turned out to be the exact same color I started with. I go on vacation in 6 days and hate my hair. I'm not looking forward to taking pictures, that’s for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 675

Fleeting

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my step-kids and left my abusive husband. I've just been informed that I'm being accused of kidnapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 182

Gooey mess

By Lauren - 28/08/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I volunteered to bring a homemade dessert to a family dinner. I made a cheesecake, decorated it beautifully, and carried it across town on the train. When I arrived, everyone complimented it. Then I realized I'd forgotten the removable bottom of the pan, so the cheesecake was still sitting inside a metal ring and couldn't be served. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 170

Always tip generously

By Fuck you guys! - 15/08/2023 06:00

Today, I overheard a waitress calling me a cheapskate because I left a $2 tip on a $9 tab. When I told her she was ungrateful, rude, and unprofessional, she burst into tears and told the manager I’d threatened her. I was then banned from the restaurant, all while the little twat smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 250

Are you all OK?

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, TikTok got banned. It was my place for when I’m bored. I’m literally crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 1 040

Online predators exist in many forms

By Anonymous - 28/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Denver

Today, some girl hit me up and was flirting with me over text. It turns out she was doing it for money and it’s been so long that I almost fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 108

Whoops

By Anonymous - 28/09/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 36 095

We need to see the video!

By Lightweight - 08/03/2021 20:02

Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 370

Outrage monger

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 20:00

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 185

City boy

By Where? - 23/08/2023 08:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 868

Bartering

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 22:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my 8 year-old niece gave me back a Fluttershy plush I gifted her 4 years ago. When I told her it was a gift from the heart, she insisted on exchanging it for something of equal value. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 100

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 150

Shut it down

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I met on a dating site. We hit it off, until he noticed the MAGA sticker on the back of my phone. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and never came back. I had to pay for both meals and explain to the waiter why I was practically crying into my bowl of noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 636

My life is a movie

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was late for work and sprinted to catch the elevator. I made it just in time, only to realize I was in the elevator alone and had just dramatically dived into it for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 326

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The Top

Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 161

You deserved it 397

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 589

You deserved it 6 326

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 681

You deserved it 3 891

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 50 189

Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said, "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 301

You deserved it 17 192

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 835

You deserved it 13 199