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Life comes at you fast

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 00:02

Today, I watched a video my ex-girlfriend posted. It was a cute little video of her three children playing at a park. She’s happily married. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a girlfriend since we broke up… 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 660

Welcome back

By Soggy Sophia - 27/03/2013 15:44 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 119

You deserved it 2 651

The betrayal

By DoubleXed - 20/07/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my newly ex-boyfriend, who is also my co-worker, threw me under the bus about our relationship, except he claimed it was a one-sided relationship. I offered to show the consensual texts between us, but he insisted it’s “Photoshopped.” I was fired anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 183

By Bullet - 13/08/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 317

You deserved it 3 376

Skincare routing

By Tomatoe Face - 22/04/2014 05:31 - United States - Antioch

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 491

You deserved it 4 955

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 034

You deserved it 4 778

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 02:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 125

Happy Easter!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 353

Head, meet wall

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 20:00

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 378

Are you kidding me?

By Stinky. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 029

You deserved it 2 804

By mitsuko045 - 10/08/2010 00:33 - Ireland

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 186

You deserved it 25 980

By gerontofuck - 15/04/2014 21:55 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 905

You deserved it 4 694

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 518

You deserved it 6 442

Bladdered

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 11:01 - India - Delhi

Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 1 405

Cold feet

By whyamidoingit - 23/07/2022 18:00

Today, it's three days until I get married, and I can’t help but be nervous. Why? I wish I knew. I’m not scared of commitment, I’m happy to spend my life with him, so why the sudden panic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 206

This is not a choice

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 14:00

Today, I came out to my parents. Now my dad only refers to me as "Nancy Boy", and not in a nice way, that’s if he even bothers to speak to me at all. Mostly he just pretends I don’t exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 357

Sir…

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 864

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 481

You deserved it 3 346

The world's greatest dad

By Nat - 06/08/2022 06:00

Today, I'd had enough of my ex-husband ignoring me and our son, so I threatened to take him to court for sole custody. He didn't even hang up the phone to his client, he just told me to go for it because our son isn't really that interesting anyway, not enough to fight to try keep him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 248

Just not with me

By NotMeFML - 07/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 359

Manager of the year

By xmeatballx21 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday." He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 989

You deserved it 3 512

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 15:03 - United States

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 639

You deserved it 3 760

Impressive

By mikej1985 - 20/03/2009 17:11 - Canada

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 485

You deserved it 70 399

Capitalists gonna capital

By sick-and-tired - 06/08/2022 22:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I’m fighting a Lyme disease infection. A tick bit me while I was sleeping in bed, gifting me it. I lost 15 lbs in 6 days, and can't work while treating it. I asked for pest control. My slumlord dad owns the place, refuses to fix it up, and told me no. I have no money and now my wife is sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 20:47 - Canada

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 393

You deserved it 59 026

Secrecy

By Anonymous - 15/06/2021 11:01

Today, I went to spend some time with my family. Unbeknownst to me, while I was having quality time with my family, my boyfriend of a year and a half was packing up his belongings and going back to his estranged wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 249

By lonely girl - 11/03/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 4 405

In the mood

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 145

By Cult - 30/03/2014 14:27 - United States - Glenside

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 335

You deserved it 57 548

Never reveal your password to anything

By Sky_Flower - 17/11/2023 22:00

Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 740

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The Top

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 967

You deserved it 3 655

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 839

You deserved it 5 641

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 044

You deserved it 264

Today, my girlfriend, who collects monthly welfare cheques, demanded that I get a second job so I could buy her more things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 421

Today, I found out on LinkedIn that my dad follows and endorses a successful cousin of ours. I guess I didn't make the cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 135

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 207