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OP here! Stoked that this got published! A couple of things... This actually happened last year. I had just had my daughter a couple months prior. For those of you who have never had children, it takes awhile to be comfortable with your body after being pregnant and giving birth to baby. Also, for those of you wondering, I am actually a married woman. Married women can still find someone attractive without wanting to get in their pants. I was mostly just flattered that someone was actually taking notice in me after feeling so huge and unattractive for the past year. Thank you so much for the positive comments!! A lot of you made me smile and laugh!

By GrinningCynic - 14/05/2012 17:55 - United States - Englewood

Today, I was told I need two root canals. This is because my previous dentist did such a bad job on one of my teeth that the decay went through and transferred to its neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 460

You deserved it 2 303

Stuck

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 20:01

Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 125

Performance anxiety

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 10:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I had a presentation for my university class. The bus was 5 minutes late, and I ended up getting to class right on time. As I took a seat, my group was asked to present. I panicked and totally bombed my presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 563

Losing more than I'll ever have

By Into the darkness - 30/03/2021 21:30

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 122

Mission impossible

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 06:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my manager forced me to call the guy she fired a few weeks ago, and grovel shamelessly to him to come back to work, and that I'd better convince him to return, or else. The problem is, not only does he hate my manager's guts, he's now working a godsend job in Japan, which pays 4 times as much, and gave him a car and a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 30 673

Sticky

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 165

Dramatic Entrance Fail

By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28

It's not easy being cheesy...

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 210

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 15/06/2022 18:00

Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 156

Plug me in

By Plugged - 04/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when you put Kleenex up your nose to stop it from constantly draining snot, it is possible for it to rip and get stuck in your nose when you try to take it out. Words cannot describe how incredibly uncomfortable that was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 299

The Voice

By Ellie - 08/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 957

You deserved it 2 987

By omfgfmlife - 05/07/2011 14:32 - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 338

You deserved it 3 075

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 444

You deserved it 4 339

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 244

Many such cases

By Link - 11/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, a friend was moving away, and they told me go grab their credit card. I did, and she bought me Dunkin' Donuts, then I tripped and dumped both our drinks. Into her face. I tried to say "Fuck!" and "I didn't mean to do that to you!" but ended up yelling "FUCK YOU!" in the middle of a parking lot. I never saw her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 441

By maimay234 - 03/09/2010 21:37 - United States

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 114

You deserved it 14 333

maimay234 tells us more.

maimay234 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 0:23

By the way, it was my first time using a bristled curling iron. I thought if you just rolled it up like a regular one, it would come right out. Looks like that didn't quite work out, judging from my hair cut. I thought I just unrolled it the wrong way so I spent 5 minutes trying to roll it out. Then I yanked the plug and started burning my fingers trying to get the hair out. Yes it smelled. Yes I know it was stupid of me to try it out hot the first time. But hey, we all have senior moments, right?