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By ditched?? - 06/08/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 388

You deserved it 5 726

Compassion

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 00:00

Today, we recently had to unplug our mom from life support. We decided it together as a family, but as her medical proxy, I was the one who had to tell the hospital to do it. Now half my family members don’t talk to me, like I decided all on my own to kill her behind their backs. I want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 106

By Adalia - 03/10/2009 15:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 808

You deserved it 39 455

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 22:40 - United States

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 40

In the eye of the beholder

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 18:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 130

Concentrate!

By Clowning - 03/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 132

Anxiety zits

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I have a second date with someone I like. Usually, I have a minor acne problem, but this week I've had four of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 108

Here's to another 20!

By Roy - 08/11/2023 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, it’s been 20 years since my then girlfriend of 2 weeks fell asleep while I was going down on her. She claimed it was because she was so ‘relaxed’ with me. I married her anyway. Now, she’s still very, very ‘relaxed’ with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 519

By Poop - 02/10/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 013

You deserved it 3 221

By MollyMo - 21/03/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 148

You deserved it 41 866

What were you doing in the picture?

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 12:00

Today, I mistakenly shared my picture in my office group chat, then went to dinner. No one asked me to delete it for 30 minutes, then when I got a message that I'd shared it in the wrong window, I deleted it immediately. I don't know how many people saw the picture, and my manager also is in the group in addition to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 1 112

Crotch rot

By LassieToe - 30/03/2012 03:48 - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 2 835

By Rael - 29/09/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, I found a parking citation from my college on my car windshield. It read PERMIT CITATION at the top. It confused me, as I had bought a parking permit 2 or 3 weeks before so that I wouldn't get a ticket. Turns out I got fined because the permit was on the wrong side of the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 576

You deserved it 7 286

Rael tells us more.

Rael 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 1:26

Well, the worst part of it was what I saw when I was driving on the way back to my dorm. Somebody driving past with the sticker in the same place mine was. It just pisses me off. Like the guy with the Mustang I see every day. He can't ever get a real parking spot, so he's always parked in the Service Vehicles spot. I never see a ticket on his windshield. This is at NAU, btw. Yes, they are fucktards about this shit.

Library time

By Anonymous - 23/05/2021 14:00

Today, after a long day, I decided to study. I was so tired and anxious that I couldn't. When I actually started, a neighbour started making a hole in his wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 125

Bye bye

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 011

You deserved it 5 572

By :( - 28/03/2014 20:25 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 745

You deserved it 4 830

A new career beckons

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 20:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I thought it was a great idea to join a work meeting while I was taking a shower. But thanks to Murphy's law, everything that could go wrong went wrong. I'd forgotten to turn off my webcam. Now my boss and my other 500 coworkers are asking me about my "OnlyFans account." FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 236

Balls up

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 12:01

Today, I woke up at 2 p.m. to realise I'd slept through all of my alarms and missed my really big presentation at university, all because I was up most of the night with food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 175

Time to get working, kid

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Meredith

Today, after yesterday was the second anniversary of my mother’s passing, it’s now my son’s first birthday. To top it off, my job just laid everyone off today too. I had the only income in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 71

By Dr.Anonymous - 22/03/2014 11:56 - India - Mumbai

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 377

You deserved it 3 784

By Non-active - 25/09/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 328

You deserved it 3 284

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Spicy

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 186

Isn't this, like, a crime?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend blows weed smoke at me while I sleep. I don’t smoke. Then he turns off the Ring camera in the middle of the night and cheats on me with men that he finds on Grindr. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 167

DIY

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 457

You deserved it 30 662

Trip of a lifetime

By Anonymous - 02/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, on the last day of our vacation with my boyfriend's family, I'm crying alone under a tree because he refuses to talk to me because I got mad he didn't want to do anything with me, but did those same things with his family. He went out of his way to do all the things I wanted to do, but without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 205

By CDeVeney92 - 17/03/2012 04:37 - United States

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 3 195

Nurture vs. Nature

By Anonymous - 12/08/2022 22:00

Today, and since forever, my boyfriend has a twin brother. His girlfriend is now pregnant and he was ecstatic. I'm also pregnant but my boyfriend is acting like it’s the end of the world, and has been either drunk or hungover since I told him. So much for twins being alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 356

Average Metallica fan

By UglyMetalGirl - 09/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, the guy I like posted a story that said, “Why can’t a girl who’s into metal be into me?” Deciding to shoot my shot, I replied, “I’m a girl who’s into metal, wassup cutie?” He deleted it and posted a new one: “Why can’t an ATTRACTIVE girl who’s into metal be into me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 124

Golden child

By Lennell - 24/08/2022 02:00

Today it's my twin brother's and my birthday, and like every year people wish him a happy birthday instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 117

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The Top

The Top

Today, my mother and I were watching a movie. She got up to go to bed, and I blurted out, "Please don't leave me." Her response: "You really need a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 2 091

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 17 097

Today, my boyfriend took a picture of us together because he wanted to have something to burn when we break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 182

Today, my mom wished her best friend a Happy Birthday on Facebook. Her best friend died this year. Oh, did I mention that it’s also my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 133

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 410

Today, I called my new boyfriend by my ex’s name. Twice. In the same conversation. I’m having trouble saying anything while looking at him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 504