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I actually feel much more comfortable on my bike than in a car. When I was 15 someone crashed into the side of my mums car, right where I was sitting. The passenger seat I'd been in was completely crushed. Many of my bones were also crushed. Guess I'm just afraid of getting trapped in a car like that again.

By MB - 28/11/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 34 074

By SomeoneElse - 14/07/2009 13:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 360

You deserved it 3 367

By lectro - 24/11/2008 06:08 - France

Today, I learnt that the girl with whom I've being going out for 6 months has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 596

You deserved it 3 798

The Breeders

By no spank - 11/08/2020 20:01

Today, my family once again mocked and insulted me for being the only one to not spank my kids. Apparently, they’ll grow up entitled and in prison if I don’t. Odd, seeing as my kids are 10 times better behaved than their kids, who get spanked on a regular. Ah well, here’s to hitting kids I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 373

Carry that weight

By Anonymous - 09/11/2021 08:00 - Australia - Moorebank

Today, I was getting up from sitting on the floor. I lent on the coffee table to help support my weight and heard a pop. I'd bruised the tendons in my wrist and now have to wear a wrist guard for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 725

You deserved it 4 343

I'm right here

By Solemnwishing - 13/07/2009 18:33 - United States

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 679

You deserved it 22 488

By Zitty - 12/07/2009 18:18 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 583

You deserved it 65 238

DGAF nursing

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 17:00

Today, my patient was ready to tip over, so I called out for help, but the other nurse didn't even look up from her computer. A tech had to rush over from the end of the room. Is it bad that I wanted to tell the nurse she needs to effing retire? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 17:18 - Philippines

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 763

You deserved it 3 238

By Mandoune - 07/11/2008 14:18 - Finland

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 344

You deserved it 4 588

Social distancing

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 05:01

Today, we celebrated our daughter's sixth birthday. Out of the 30 invited, 7 showed up. The last one to cancel this morning told us she was ill. My daughter was in tears as this meant the last remaining playmate couldn't come. My wife later saw her tagged on Facebook at another party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 406

Brilliant

By BrokeAsFuck - 18/10/2012 23:52 - United States

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 2 049

Love is…

By LadyLump - 24/01/2010 18:12 - United States

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 519

You deserved it 4 632

Shark-infested offices

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 20:01

Today, I attended my father’s funeral. I have the week off work, and one of my colleagues is using this time to make a play for my job. I’m not supposed to be checking emails, so I can’t call them out on it until I get back, by which time it may be too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 137

Wipe out

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 02:00

Today, I was walking up the stairs with my lunch in hand. I slipped and I dropped my plate, the rice and curry down fell down the stairs, while also spilling the water in my other hand. The wallpaper and carpet stairs are now stained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 279

Late bloomer

By etsl - 26/10/2008 12:07 - France

Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 370

You deserved it 15 361

By disturbed2103 - 09/07/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 773

You deserved it 9 115

Power grid

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 02:01 - United States - Seagraves

Today, I was at the dentist's and she was hands deep in my mouth with a drill, when the power for the whole block shuts off. For 3 hours, the dentist had to keep shooting me up with shots to numb the horrible pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 89

Pull the wool

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 20:00 - India - Pune

Today, my girlfriend is fucking somebody else and she thinks I don't know. I'm too afraid to lose her, so I haven't told her that I know. I'm not sure why I'm not ready to let her go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 768

Cashback

By elle_hamilton - 25/08/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 142

By Schizomaniac - 19/09/2013 19:16 - United States

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 820

You deserved it 14 296

Schizomaniac tells us more.

Schizomaniac 24

Friday 20 September 2013 5:47

Lol sucks, op. Oh wait...First off: Kali, **** you. Now that that's out of the way, I got into the dorm building by waiting outside for someone to come out, as my ID no longer works. I phoned my old roommate but he was still happily asleep. Everything leading up to the paper towel moment was pretty hectic. I was on the verge of being late for an important class and when I got to school, my normal parking lot was full. LSU parking is a biznitch. The scene played out pretty much how pistachiopanda described it. It was pretty dramatic. On the plus side, "Make a Man Out of You" came on Pandora as I was driving to school. Silver lining.

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 200

You deserved it 2 787