The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Inflation woes

By DevoutOccamist - 31/10/2022 00:00

Today, after I got a great job at my asking salary, my boss then quit without telling me my salary was maxed out. I learned this when, two years in a row, I got a 1% raise because I'm redlined. With inflation, my take-home pay has dropped by 15% in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 157

By disturbedtosaytheleast - 27/01/2012 11:19 - Canada

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 020

You deserved it 2 692

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 837

You deserved it 19 277

MVP

By Killmenow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 2 855

How d'you like them apples?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 14:00

Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 219

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 6 965

Stop stealing Kias!

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 283

By me - 25/01/2012 03:40 - Canada

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 054

You deserved it 30 339

By Angie - 24/03/2011 19:07 - South Africa

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 429

You deserved it 4 713

By KateD - 06/03/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 825

You deserved it 2 816

By weeks - 19/08/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 447

You deserved it 5 531

Hangry

By Jago - 12/08/2021 10:01

Today, I'm running so fucking low on money, I have to go to the supermarket to eat free bites of ham, cheese and whatever they have on their aisles for breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 116

The old switcheroo

By Retake - 13/08/2021 20:01

Today, I got my precalculus final back from my teacher. I got a 17%. I told her that there had to be some mistake, because my classmate had the same answers as me and she got 100%. Not only did I accidentally admit to cheating, but our test papers had different questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 2 775

New fragrance just dropped

By lavenderpiss - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 4 039

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 4 105

Step on the gas

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 02:46 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 671

You deserved it 35 725

By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 74

Not so spooky

By Hailey - 01/11/2022 10:00

Today, I went out to my first Halloween event in 5 years, only to find out my boyfriend just saw it as an obstacle to playing Pokemon Go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 178

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 3 890

By anonymous - 18/03/2011 07:35

Today, I went to the airport to start the amazing 3 week vacation in Costa Rica that I've been saving for and planning for more than a year. They wouldn't let me on the plane because my passport expires in less than 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 13 889

By fucking fuck it fucking hurts - 21/12/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 655

You deserved it 6 196

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 208

You deserved it 8 803

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 926

You deserved it 43 105

By :^( - 07/12/2013 17:30 - Bahrain - Isa Town

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 245

You deserved it 3 212

By Jamie - 13/08/2009 17:21 - Denmark

Today, I got my first Facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 193

You deserved it 7 499

By sosadbuttrue - 14/01/2012 13:15 - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 206

You deserved it 28 012

Pesky kids

By Kyle - 03/12/2013 06:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they couldn't get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 361

You deserved it 6 968

Rules are rules

By aw-wtf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 620

You deserved it 3 931

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 12:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 136

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Kids Pregnancy Family Money Birthday Animals Cats Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to, "Stop sticking your butt out!" My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 2 484

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 2 503

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 407

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I had a one night stand. While lying next to him afterwards, he nervously said, "Listen, I, uh... I bought this when I was drunk." I wasn't really sure what he referred to until I realized: the bed sheets. The Twilight bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 445

You deserved it 815

Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 2 041

Today, I asked my husband to spend New Year's with me watching a movie or maybe spending some time together. He said, "I can't upset my family by coming to celebrate New Year's with you." For context, we live separately because my Dad passed away and I can't leave my mum alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 232