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OP here :) No, I'm NOT a terrible wife. I had a situation that caused sex to be very painful for me, so we weren't doing it very much. He got frustrated, this ***** started chatting with him. I moved in with my parents, and two weeks later he ended it with her (without even meeting her in person yet) realizing that it was his sexual frustration talking. We are back together and working things out, which is easier now that I've been to the doctor and had my situation taken care of. Thanks for the sympathy, and a big FECK OFF to the haters ;)

You're fired!

By Schuyler Davis - 21/09/2020 02:01

Today, my employer fired me, less than a week before I could become permanent full-time staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 137

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 055

You deserved it 3 509

By Noname - 29/10/2011 11:02 - United States

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 144

You deserved it 2 427

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 753

Floored

By smashyonewfloors - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - High River

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 322

You deserved it 2 918

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 296

You deserved it 57 247

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 13:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 275

You deserved it 2 747

Emergency situation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 710

You deserved it 5 489

Let's say, hypothetically…

By Anonymous - 08/12/2014 04:35 - United States - Long Beach

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 893

You deserved it 3 882

Mommy's boy

By motherlessbride - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 453

You deserved it 3 467

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 05:39 - United States

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 381

You deserved it 31 497

Memory loss

By suicidal - 13/01/2022 05:01

Today, I woke up and every single one of my friends, coworkers, and even my own family members have decided they all hate me, for no apparent reason. Several of them have even told me to kill myself. I have no idea what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 276

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 290

You deserved it 5 142

There's always that one friend…

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 337

You deserved it 10 699

By Anonymous - 21/10/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 556

You deserved it 2 934

By virgacs - 01/12/2014 13:58 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 5 154

virgacs tells us more.

virgacs 10

Wednesday 3 December 2014 8:29

OP here. Thank you all for the hillarious comments. I had seen him without a beard before of course, but he has recently lost some weight and turns out it changed his features a bit.

By bandcamp926 - 05/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 367

You deserved it 22 726