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420 blaze it!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 04:01

Today, according to my boss, he could cancel out the chill effect of pot brownies by mixing Red Bull into coffee. Somehow, I think his wastedness was still noticeable, since he fell asleep at an important meeting and our main investor pulled out, putting most of our jobs at risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 96

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I had to temporarily remove the drain pipe under the sink. I absentmindedly poured the stinky water from the trap into the now drainless sink, and flooded the cupboard I was working in with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 552

Solo

By AmIworthit? - 13/08/2021 16:01 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 122

Teambuilding

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 04:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my team and I were given the options to travel together by company bus, or self-drive to a company outing. We all chose to self-drive. Our boss got extremely mad and said we had no team spirit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 206

Safe driver, huh?

By Blind idiot - 11/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, as I came home from work, I got to my car and was wondering why the door wouldn't open. My eyesight is poor and it was super dark outside, so I didn't realize it wasn't my car until the owner appeared and threatened to call the police. I might need to invest in night-vision goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 236

So frustrating!

By Sexless - 18/09/2025 20:00

Today, my wife complained that I never try to initiate sex anymore. I moved in to kiss her, only for her to push away and say, "I don't want sex!" I tried again later that night. "I don't want sex!" The next day: "I don't want sex!" This is why I never try; if something doesn't work, why keep trying it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 83

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 115

Timeshare

By Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 346

What is wrong with you?

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I had to inform my son that no, his genital warts will not just go away on their own, and if he ever wants to have sex with a decent woman again, he’ll take his stupid self to the doctor and get treated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 144

Welcome to middle age

By Daisy - 23/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out I've been adulting too long when I noticed that the bags at Smart & Final are shorter than the last time I was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 167

Deflated

By Pay rise - 22/11/2022 10:00

Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 113

Covert

By Tabby Kat - 21/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to take a subtle picture of a cute guy reading at a café. My phone flash went off. He looked up, made direct eye contact, and said, “You could’ve just asked.” I packed up my stuff and left immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 694

Strangetown

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 06:00 - United States - Scammon

Today, I made a joke about an older girl looking sexy because she had messy hair and half makeup on and half off. My girlfriend of 3 years found it offensive and broke up with me, then later made up rumors. Now my whole high school thinks I got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 306

Nothing is real anymore

By Alice - 28/10/2025 15:00

Today, after matching on Tinder and chatting for several days, this guy asked for more photos, so I sent him some recent pics of me in the garden. He then said they were AI and told me to, "Fuck off, clanker." The pics were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 71

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being chronically stressed since I was 12 has made me look older than I am. I used to be the youngest looking kid in my high school. That lead to me being ignored and mistaken for an innocent kid, causing me stress. As a 25 year-old adult, I work my ass off just to survive, causing me stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 167

Try again

By Anonymous - 10/09/2021 14:01 - Luxembourg

Today, I spent almost 8 hours working on a piece of hand lettering art for a friend. When I sent her a preview, she loved it, but also pointed out that the title was off centre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 242

Downer

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 06:00 - Australia - Glenroy

Today, it's my third day of gastroenteritis that’s wreaked havoc on my young family for a full week. More vomit and poo than I care to admit. Coming up to the two year anniversary of my brother taking his own life, just before Xmas. People say it’s a happy time of year. Not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 116

Bigfoot

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 15:00

Today, I went for a walk in my brand new shoes that I bought around four days ago. I've always had problems walking on my right foot and when I was younger we couldn't buy Payless shoes as they'd be torn to pieces within a month. The left shoe felt perfectly fine; the right one feels like it's already disintegrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 86

More details please

By Grandma has no filter - 08/12/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 137

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 167

Weird and gross

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 22:00

Today, as we talked after we woke up at a sleepover at my house (16th birthday gift), my best friend sat up, grabbed her belly, and started grunting. I asked what's wrong and she said, "I have to poop" and she did, right there in her underwear. The turd she pushed out was so big, her panties overflowed. We shared a bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 83

Why so serious?

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 12:00

Today, I attended my first Zoom meeting as a junior manager. Our CEO said she was feeling dizzy, and if anyone saw her passed out later they should get her some chocolate. Thinking she was joking, I burst out laughing. My boss quickly muted us, and told me that the CEO actually has diabetes. Nobody told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 512

Heavy sleeper

By Günter von Christ - 24/11/2025 20:00

Today, not only was I kicked out of the house, but also from the family. What did I do? Fought betrayal with betrayal. What happened? Someone cut my long well kept hair, which they all disapproved of, down to stubble while I was asleep, and they all acted like they knew nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 76

Pull the plug

By Loud - 12/01/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to turn my TV up. Unfortunately, the volume button got stuck, so it ended up turning all the way up to the max while I was listening to an already very loud song. If my neighbors didn't know I listen to a lot of blues rock, they do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 255

Office supplies

By Nervous - 04/12/2025 03:00

Today, during a Zoom meeting, I tried to discreetly mute myself before yelling at my printer for jamming again. I wasn’t muted. My whole team listened as I threatened a piece of office equipment with violence. My boss suggested therapy for “Printer anger.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 404

What the…?

By Gary McBain - 14/01/2023 06:00

Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 100

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 815

Kinda effed up

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 20:00 - Canada - Laval

Today, my sister is a murderer but my family admitted they prefer her over me. I had to move to a new city to get away from the media and drama, I have no friends, and the only family who calls me is my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 95

Just perfect

By Anonymous - 17/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally told my boss that I need a week off to recharge; I presented dates, reasons, and felt brave. He nodded approvingly, then checked my calendar and asked, “Perfect, can you train the new hires that week?” I stared at my triumphant note then mourned my stolen week. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 112

Can't let the big man upstairs wait

By Sirsriracha - 21/10/2021 14:01

Today, I posted bail for my mom from jail. She did a hit and run, and then resisted arrest. When I asked why she didn’t stay at the scene, she unapologetically said, “I was gonna be late to church.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 125

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The Top

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 963

You deserved it 7 814

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 025

You deserved it 27 793

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 905

You deserved it 11 049

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 1 928

Today, I found a DIY beauty hack online, so as I had nothing better to do and my skin is a mess, I gave it a try. I mixed lemon juice with sugar to exfoliate my face. Little did I know, I had a tiny cut on my cheek. The lemon juice made it feel like my face was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 383

Today, I joined an impromptu work video meeting from a family vacation but forgot to change my display name from “Mom’s iPad.” For the entire hour, everyone called me “Mom” and I didn’t understand why they were calling me that. Once I realized what was going on, it was too late, so I’m officially “Mom” at work now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 306