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Caught in 4K

By Francia - 04/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I walked in on my soon-to-be-ex-husband with his coworker (who we'd always argued about) bent over in front of him. Both of them buck ass naked. He was supposed to be watching our two year-old daughter, who was in another room eating applesauce by herself. She was drenched in applesauce from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 215

Not the sharpest tool

By full'a'shit - 06/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, after days of constipation, I gave myself an enema to clear out the obstruction. My girlfriend has decided that I'm secretly gay and will not change her mind. She's already told her friends, who now want to take me shoe shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 104

Police Academy 26

By Nony - 08/06/2021 22:01

Today, during one of my final exams at university, the police academy across from the class decided to practice their marching. With the full band of bagpipes. For the entire 3 hours. I have a headache verging on migraine and start humming the marching beat occasionally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 92

Fireworks

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 642

Enjoy the ride

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I found out my boyfriend is a sex addict, so now I don’t know if he even actually likes me, or if it’s just that I’m “adventurous.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 129

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 599

Sins of the Mother

By speedster - 24/06/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 302

Voice over

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 06:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized anytime I try to say anything, relatives will talk over me, change the subject, or go off on tangents about ancient family history that I don't want to hear for the 1000th time. Yet if I interrupt them once, I'm the bad one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 105

Oddly specific turn off

By FatCoco - 08/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 440

Smoothie with a kick

By Anonymous - 02/07/2021 02:01 - Germany

Today, I made myself a smoothie with fruits and wild greens, which tasted much better than it looked, so I licked the splashes off the blender’s lid. Including a stray leaf that didn’t get blended. Which turned out to be stinging nettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 909

Betrayed

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 235

Major anger issues

By Anonymous - 14/09/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Penarth

Today, a customer phoned, asking to collect an item. I explained that there was no need, as the item had already been posted out to her and was on its way. Her response? Apparently, I don’t deserve to have a set of balls, and I’m lucky or she’d emasculate me. She'd ordered a remote control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 91

Scammers gonna scam

By Leah Magers - 19/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Ames

Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 113

Anyone can be a 7 if you try hard enough

By Anonymous - 23/09/2022 04:00

Today, I had a very nice, long, and pleasant dream about having a girlfriend for the first time since 2010, and then I woke up. I'm right about myself, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 282

Always with you

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I hung up the phone and went to tell my dad that I’d finished switching all the utilities into my name. Then I remembered I was switching them into my name because of his death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 75

Stiff upper lip

By Diana - 26/01/2024 00:00 - Germany

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 94

Shady

By Mellieb - 28/01/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out the reason why my boyfriend of two years stopped posting about our relationship on social media. It wasn’t to “protect our relationship from hating eyes and bad energy.” Apparently, there’s a hot new young lady that works with him and he added her. Me being in the picture would ruin his chances with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 128

To infinity and beyond

By Gwen - 07/08/2025 20:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 374

Nutshot

By Unwilling Target - 03/10/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 175

Hey, it's the Christmas card dude!

By doglove - 23/03/2020 04:43

Today, I was looking through old childhood pictures for my father's funeral and I found one of our old Christmas cards. I looked at it and noticed in the background our two dogs enjoying very spirited sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 210

Major red flag

By Whybother - 15/10/2022 06:00

Today, the nutcase I was dating broke up with me because I don't want to open a shop with his broke ass using my lifelong saved money. He's now throwing all I told him in confidence back in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 133

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 18/08/2025 03:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 109

Give me a break!!

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 20:00

Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 253

Let it go

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 142

Dumbest cheater

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 06:00

Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 148

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 148

Bye!

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 15:00 - Ireland

Today, I was finishing up an internship so while driving past the other interns I said, "Bye losers!" as a joke. It turns out that the CEO was with them and fully heard me yell that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 687

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 837

Fatherly love

By Anonymous - 27/02/2024 09:00 - Ukraine

Today, I finally had it out with my abusive father. I spent almost an hour detailing about how he constantly humiliates me in public, treats me like slime, and hits me at random when he's in a bad mood. His response was, "Quit being such a wimp" because I'm "not female." Mom took his side. I'm 16 and can't move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 110

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my bathroom electrical outlet has a feature unique from the others, where it turns off on it's own and has to be reset. I found this out after returning an electric toothbrush for a refund, then paying double for another one, thinking the first one's charger didn't work thanks to the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 505

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The Top

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 4 106

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 248

You deserved it 89 833

Today, despite having long hair and wearing makeup and a dress, I was still mistaken for a man several times. I'm a girl and I was born a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 041

You deserved it 200

Today, my husband told me doesn't really love me. He only married me because we had a daughter, and his grandmother told him he had to so she wouldn't be "an abomination to God." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 261

Today, an interviewer kept me waiting for 20 minutes at reception, then marked me "late" in his feedback. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 90

Today, I was supposed to leave for Switzerland for a month, to see my boyfriend whom I haven't seen for over 6 months. Unfortunately, I broke my leg three days ago and I now I need to stay home and get surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 133