The Top

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Alexa, play "All You Need Is Hate" by The Delgados

By Anyonymous_101 - 21/09/2019 14:02

Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 98

Gatekeeping gamers

By oldschool - 04/06/2021 08:03

Today, my roommate walked in on me playing Ocarina of Time and snarkily asked me why I’m playing a 20 year-old game. Apparently I’m not allowed to like stuff that didn’t come out this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 126

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 06:00 - New Zealand

Today, I'm ignored and bored so much at my dream job that I've started bringing in my fanfiction to write when no one is around. Which is 80% of the day. I'm training to be a civil engineer. My experience writing fanfiction should take me really far in my chosen career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 347

Dane Cook? Is that you?

By ShardsOfShame - 26/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother why his relationship with a just-turned 18 year-old would be inappropriate. According to him, they’ve been “dating” for two years now but “haven’t had sex or anything.” He’s 39. He got mad at me for calling him a pedophile and smashed my glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 273

Hello, Goodbye

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was fired from a job I didn't know I had. That is to say, the company hired me but didn't tell me, so when I didn't show up for work two days in a row, they called and claimed job abandonment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 944

You deserved it 364

Walk out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 20:01

Today, I'd started dialysis and the cap at the end of my PD tube came off. It’s meant to stop infection, and it’s filled with betadine. I said I had to go to the office. My teacher wouldn’t let me, so I walked out of class. I got detention for trying to prevent getting a major infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 69

Boring FML

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 362

Risky

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 10:01

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 921

The Good Fight

By cacheson - 05/06/2020 23:00

Today, my husband and roommate went out to protest for the second day in a row. I have an anxiety disorder, so I can't go. I’m just stuck here watching videos of the fires and violence, wondering if they will even come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 1 106

By oopsydaddy - 14/08/2018 06:00

Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 803

You deserved it 186

Hard no

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 137

By nobody - 27/08/2018 22:00 - Ireland

Today, while I was talking to my boss, he got a call from "babe". The number that was calling him was my girlfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 155

By Brad - 07/09/2018 18:30

Today, I was on a 3-way call with my wife and the bank. The bank said we didn't qualify for school loans, which means I have to drop out. As soon as the bank hung up, my wife stayed on the line to tell me she wants a divorce and that she regrets our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 224

Delayed proposal

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 23:02

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 417

Still waiting on Q

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 08:01

Today, I’m married to a man who thought Trump had several good ideas but just went about it the wrong way, but he’s sure he’ll do better next time when he takes the White House back from Biden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 803

Check this out

By Anonymous - 30/09/2018 12:00

Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 2 749

So, it is not immoral ?

By Anonymous - 17/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my parents were arguing about their relationship. My mom, who is very Christian, yelled at my dad for watching porn. My dad responded, "Of course I watch porn, I've told you! I've shown you!" He's also the one who stressed to me at a very young age that porn is immoral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 192

Threatening

By I hate my family - 11/02/2023 10:00

Today, my mom told me to be my sister’s maid of honor at her wedding or I’m out of her will. She says if I don’t go, I’m being selfish, and she wants to see her “baby girls” bonding one last time before she dies. I would gladly go if my sister wasn’t marrying my ex-husband, who cheated on me with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 131

For what occasion

By Single Sally - 01/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend of five years finally gave me a ring. Oh no, not an engagement ring. He gave me a ring "to apologize for sleeping with his married coworker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 546

You deserved it 189

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 01:58

Today, my husband has been isolating for 6 days in our bedroom, with me sleeping in the spare room, since his positive COVID test. I found instructions for how to fake the positive result on our shared iPad. He lied to get out of work, my birthday, and my parents' anniversary party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 271

By fail2.0 - 27/10/2018 22:00 - Sweden - Skinnskatteberg

Today, I was going to put up wallpaper in my bedroom, so I asked my stepdad to switch off the electricity as there was an output on the wall. I started to cut out the wallpaper to fit and accidentally stuck my finger in there. The power was not off. An ambulance had to come check my heart rhythm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 010

You deserved it 477

The wizard

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 14:00

Today, we had our busiest day at work all year with lots of angry people calling, and a co-worker called in sick. I went to my local game shop after work, exhausted and upset, and guess who was at his usual table running a Dungeons and Dragons group, apparently not too sick to go out. Yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 132

You deserved it 201

No smoking

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 20:03

Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 290

Big red flag

By Ultimate ultimatum - 05/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 108

Sugar Daddy

By about2behomelezz - 16/02/2022 00:01

Today, I found an eviction notice at the apartment my boyfriend and I share. I always give him my share of the rent, and he pays it. Or so I thought. He’s been using our rent money to shower his side chick with gifts and expensive dinners. The worst part? The girl is my 18 year-old sister. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 156

The Walking Dead

By Derek Wheeler - 06/12/2020 17:00 - United States - Longview

Today, we overheard a customer in our store talking on the phone about how she'd been exposed to someone positive for COVID-19, and was supposed to be at home in quarantine just in case. The terrifying thing is how many other people come into our store when they shouldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 144

First day at work

By dumbass724 - 13/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Brampton

Today, it was my first day of work, and I was wondering why everyone was staring and laughing at me. I looked down and I realized that the fly on my jeans was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 492

Let cats be cats

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 06:00

Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 2 250

One can only hope

By sadgirl - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend's mom and the subject of marriage came up. She told me she hopes I'll find my prince charming very soon and leave her son alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 832

You deserved it 545

Puppies > Kids

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 10:00

Today, my husband bought me a puppy. When my daughter got home I showed her the puppy, but all she said was, “Eww, I am not cleaning it or walking it.” She’ll make a fantastic mother one day, I’m sure of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 035

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The Top

Today, at 19 years of age, I finally saw a nude girl in real life. Specifically, my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 832

You deserved it 2 097

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 734

You deserved it 12 227

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 566

You deserved it 5 220

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral. As he was on his way out, I wanted to say something. All I could think of was, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 776

You deserved it 22 753

Today, I got a check for $100 for a random selecting at work. My boyfriend’s reaction? Light it on fire out of jealously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 067

You deserved it 479

Today, I work as a phone agent at a call center, which frequently brags about their awards as the "best workplace ever" because of their working conditions. In reality, we have to suck it up and ignore the burnouts from phone calls with Karen customers, and with the wage I get paid, I can barely make ends meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 151